Page 64 of The Little Shop on Silver Linings Street
‘Because I wanted to believe you, Kit. I wanted you to be different. But you’re not. You’re just the same as everyone else who manipulates the truth to get what they want. You can dress it up any way you want.’ She went to put her wellies back on. ‘And I’d like my coat, please, I’m going home.’
‘Daisy, please. This is silly… It’s a misunderstanding, that’s all. Can’t we just—’
‘I said I’d like my coat, please.’
‘What? And you’re just going to walk out, are you? With no torch, and no moon to light your way.’
‘Yes, well, as you so thoughtfully showed me the way the other night, I’m sure I’ll manage.’
His eyes narrowed as he searched her face and, just at the moment when she could bear it no longer, he turned on his heels. She stood by the front door, her cheeks burning, not even knowing if he would return. But he did, less than a minute later, holding her coat. He was wearing his own and in his other hand he held his car keys.
‘I’m taking you home,’ he said. ‘If you won’t listen to reason, then I’m not being held responsible for you falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.’
‘I don’t need your help, I said I’d be fine.’
‘Tough.’
Walking across the field was bad enough, but the car ride home was one of the most excruciating Daisy had ever experienced. Neither of them said a word the whole way, and yet Kit was unfailingly polite, checking to see she hadn’t stumbled, holding open the car door for her. But if anything it made her even more infuriated. She wanted him to scream and shout at her, so that she could feel justified in her anger at him. But he clearly wasn’t going to and so, instead, she endured a suffocating silence.
Minutes later he pulled into the space beside her car and turned off the engine. She didn’t know what to do. Her anger had cooled on the way and Kit’s lack of retaliation had allowed doubt to creep into her mind; with it had come guilt. She risked a tiny peep at him out of the corner of her eye, but he was looking straight ahead, hands resting lightly on the steering wheel. She should say something…
‘I think your house is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, Kit, and I want to thank you for showing it to me.’ She hated the way her voice sounded, false and somehow insincere. ‘And for dinner too, it was lovely.’
‘You didn’t finish it,’ said Kit quietly.
‘No… I’m sorry.’
The silence stretched out.
‘And for bringing me home too…’
‘That’s okay. I think you know the way from here.’
She swallowed.
Her hand was resting on the door handle.
‘So, I’ll see you tomorrow,’ said Kit.
She turned then, hoping to see a glimpse of a smile, but instead Kit just looked immeasurably sad, one side of his face ghostly pale in the scant light, the other in darkness. She nodded, choking back her tears, and stumbled from the car.
It was all a far cry from the last time Kit had brought her home. Then she had felt rescued. Tonight she felt as if she was floundering on the rocks, shipwrecked.
She only just made it inside before the dam that was holding back her emotions broke apart. And there, in the quiet dark of her hallway, she cried for all the times she had ever felt alone. For all the times she had tried to love and care for her mother but been pushed away. For all the times the children at school laughed at her because her school uniform was dirty and stained. For all the times she had cried herself to sleep wondering what she had done wrong. And then she cried some more, because since her grandparents had died there was only one person who had made her feel like she wasn’t alone, and now she had pushed him away.
The darkness was all encompassing when Daisy eventually stirred, rousing herself from the floor of the hallway. She was thirsty and her head ached. Her limbs were stiff from sitting on the cold tiles and her eyeballs felt rough and gritty. She licked her lips and swallowed, trying to find some moisture as she fumbled for the light switch, flinching when the dark was suddenly banished from the small space.
She poured herself a glass of water from the tap in the kitchen and held it up to her cheek, relishing its coolness before drinking it down in one go. It was late, nearly ten o’clock, but she felt restless now, strangely empty, and there was no way she could go to bed, she would never sleep. She looked around for something to comfort her and impulsively took down the box of macarons she had bought from the delicatessen the other day. The first disappeared in a moment as she stuffed it into her mouth virtually whole. She waited until she had made herself a hot chocolate before eating the second, and the third she ate while sitting at her work table.
As she drank, she looked again at the sketches she had made for Nick’s girlfriend and then she took out a fresh piece of silver clay from its packet and pulled her tools towards her. There was only one thing she could do in the circumstances, and so as the hands of the clock crept on towards midnight, Daisy began to make a heart.
21
Tuesday 17th December
Eight shopping days until Christmas
Daisy felt the colour drain from her face, but for Bertie’s sake she plastered on a smile. Kit, on the other hand, had a face like thunder.
