Page 61 of A Year at Appleyard Farm
‘Then I’m glad. But not just because I hope that Christopher and his family will never be forgotten, but because at times I did wonder if I wasn’t just the teensiest bit mad. It’s only when I see all this that it makes sense, to me anyway. It feels like it was meant to be.’
‘Then that’s exactly what it is. You know this could have been such a difficult time for you and your family. A new house, a new business, a new baby. It could so easily have overwhelmed you, and I think it’s something most people wouldn’t be brave enough even to try. I think that perhaps Christopher wanted you to make a go of things too, and his story became…an encouragement if you like.’
Merry cocked her head to one side.
‘How so?’
Cora fiddled with the rattle on Robyn’s pushchair. ‘Well, Christopher became so overwhelmed by his grief that he closed the doors to everything else in his life; he lost his fight and his spirit; he forgot how to chase the dreams he had as a younger man. He, more than anyone perhaps, understood how hard life can be sometimes; maybe he wanted to remind you that with all that happens in our lives, we must remember to live.’
She smiled up at the portrait. ‘And now you’ve brought him and his family back to life too, well their memory at least. I know they’re dead, Merry, but there’s a part of me that wonders if that makes no difference. I keep expecting them all to come walking back through the door, smiles on their faces, laughing like they always were.’
Merry looked up into the happy faces on the wall and then back down to her husband and friends who were deep in conversation. ‘I know exactly what you mean, Cora. Life really is what we make it, isn’t it, and right now, I can’t think of a better one.’
From their space on the wall, overlooking their new home, Marina and Catherine seemed to approve. If she didn’t know better, Merry could swear their smiles were just that little bit brighter than usual.
III
Summer
32
Jude Middleton was a very lucky man. He was also terrified of being poor. This fear, which had stalked him since his teenage years now resonated through every part of his being as his powerful car whispered through the grimy streets and away from the city. How did people live like this? In dirty streets, and dirty houses, the cigarettes and booze they fed on the only things that got them through the day. These props were a necessity, he could see that, but they destroyed so much, used up too much of their meagre amount of money, and left nothing good behind, least of all hope.
It made him shudder to think about it, but the city was a necessary evil; from the over-air-conditioned and sterile offices, to the cheaply made clothes of the arrogant young go-getters he met with; from the smell of the traffic fumes to the overpowering perfumes worn as part of a uniform. But whilst they were necessary, they were also forgettable, and Jude had been trained in the art of self-preservation for years. As the miles disappeared beneath his tyres, Jude shed their layers from his skin as a snake might. Within half an hour, it was all a distant memory.
The nights were beautifully light now and the scent from the stocks along the edge of the house rose up to greet him as he made his way up the path to his front door. A child’s bicycle lay abandoned on the front lawn, ready to be picked up again tomorrow once school had ended for the day. The trailing white rose which burgeoned over the porch, had stems heavy in bloom, and their heads brushed his as he placed his key in the lock.
Willow was waiting for him in the hallway, her eyes shiny at seeing him, just as they always were. She had on another of her wafty dresses (as Jude referred to them); it suited her, with her long, wavy blonde hair and slight figure, her bare feet covered by its trailing hem on the thick carpet. He dropped his bag by the door and gathered his wife into his arms, breathing in the smell of orange blossom which she always brought with her. She slipped her hand into his and led him towards the kitchen.
As always, the table and work surfaces were a jumble of school bags and books, toys, hair slides, and the general detritus of a busy day of childhood. It was the same every day, and Jude felt reassured by their presence. The girls were munching their way through fish finger sandwiches by the look of things; great doorsteps of homemade wholemeal bread, dripping with butter. His stomach rumbled at the thought of what Willow might have made for his own supper, the unsatisfactory steak he had eaten at lunchtime having done nothing to appease his appetite.
He stood in the doorway for a minute, anticipating one of his favourite times of day, and sure enough a few seconds later Beth spied him, giving her customary squeal. In an instant, both girls had released themselves from the table and rushed to his side.
‘Daddy!’ they chorused.
He swooped each of them up in turn, swinging them sideways and planting a trail of kisses across their wriggling stomachs.
‘Do you know I think you’ve got even more beautiful during the day? Now how can that have happened?’ he asked, laughing.
Amy, the eldest by eleven and a half minutes and far more forthright than her sister, gave a giggle. ‘Don’t be silly, Daddy,’ she declared. ‘That’s impossible.’ She smiled up at him through her long fair lashes. They were both so like their mother.
Willow came and took his jacket from him, folding it over her arm as she collected a glass from the cupboard and placed it on the table.
‘Come and sit down, and I’ll pour you some wine. Did it all go as planned?’
Jude thought of the meeting earlier that day, a meeting that had gone well on the way to sealing probably the biggest deal of his life. He wasn’t ready to share the details yet, though, not when so much was at stake. His freedom from Andrew would be the biggest prize, but also the hardest won, and he would need to tread carefully if he was ever to pull it off.
‘Well, there are still one or two finer points to be agreed on, but I’d say, yes, it went very well.’ He smiled at Willow, wondering what else she would expect him to say. He didn’t want to lie, but perhaps under the circumstances…‘Andrew was very pleased at any rate,’ he added, watching her face carefully. He knew she didn’t have much time for her father-in-law, believing him materialistic and callous.
‘Then that sounds like it could be the perfect end to the week, I’m so pleased.’ She reached into the fridge and took out a bottle of chilled wine, pouring him a glass before leaning down and kissing the top of his head. ‘Supper will be half an hour yet, if you want to grab a shower. You must feel horrible after a day in the city.’
Jude nodded, and glugged back a large swallow of wine. He grimaced. ‘God, this is revolting,’ he said, the vinegary taste hitting the back of his mouth. ‘What is it?’
Willow turned back to the fridge and waved an airy hand. ‘White wine, that’s all I know,’ she grinned. ‘It was on offer.’ She took out the bottle and handed it to him. ‘Isn’t it any good?’
Jude shook his head affectionately. ‘One day,’ he admonished her, ‘I will get you to appreciate the finer points of wine’s great beauty. Until then, please don’t buy rubbish. We have a cellar full of the good stuff, so just choose one of them. We don’t need to scrimp and save.’ He took the bottle from her and stuck it back in the fridge.
He pulled Willow towards him and kissed her, at first only intending for it to be a brief touch of the lips, but she smelled so good and his desire began to rise. It was only when there was a loud chorus of ‘euww’ from the girls that he pulled away, laughing.
