Page 73 of A Year at Appleyard Farm
Any anger she had, however, evaporated the minute she caught sight of him. At first, she thought he’d been in a fight; his clothes were dishevelled, his tie gone altogether. But then she saw the expression on his face and the breath caught in her throat. Like anybody, Jude had days when his mood was not as sunny as on others, but in all the years they’d been together she’d never seen him look so low, utterly defeated in fact. He looked as if he were barely hanging on by a thread, and then he turned away from her gaze, as if ashamed.
He carried no bag, no paperwork, no phone or iPad; all the things he had left the house with this morning and, as Willow followed him slowly up the stairs, he might as well have been a ghost for all the substance he had. She flicked on the bedroom light ahead of him, darting in front to try and engage with him in some way, but he turned a weary head towards her.
‘Please Willow, don’t. Just come to bed. Just be with me.’
By the time she had turned off the lights downstairs and locked up for the night, Jude was already in bed. His once immaculate suit lay discarded in a heap by the bed, only the watch she had given him the Christmas before was placed carefully on the table beside the bed.
She slipped on her pyjamas and crawled into bed beside him where he pulled her so that she lay almost on top of him, her blonde hair splayed out in a fan across his naked chest. He began to stroke it, and it was a long time before his hand finally stilled and he slept. Willow closed her eyes and waited.
38
Jude had got up as usual at seven o’clock that morning, spent double the amount of time he normally did in the bathroom, and emerged as if nothing had happened the evening before. He ate wholemeal toast and honey like he always did, drank a cup of tea, followed by a cup of coffee as was his custom, and it wasn’t until Willow sat pointedly in front of him that he looked up with a grimace.
‘Oh God, that’s better. I feel almost human again,’ he said with a wry smile. ‘Remind me never to entertain Mr Nakamura and his cronies again. They took me to some ‘authentic’ restaurant, and I’ve never felt so ill in all my life. I ate things that would probably make me feel sick just looking at them, never mind having them for dinner. Coupled with some heinous wine concoction. I’m a country boy at heart, I can’t cope with too much exotica.’
Willow studied him for a moment, his face open and honest, just like it always was. He looked a little tired, but the desolation of the night before was nowhere to be seen.
‘I’m really sorry I didn’t let you know I’d be so late. Events overtook me rather, and the Japanese consider it extremely rude to use your phone in a restaurant. I was in a bit of a quandary really.’
‘You could have called when you left the restaurant. I was really worried.’
‘Willow, I was completely pickled. I was way over the legal limit and not thinking logically about anything. I can’t believe I drove home.’ He shuddered. ‘It doesn’t bear thinking about.’
He reached out his hand to her. ‘Listen, I’m back in the office today, and there’s every chance I could be finished by three. Why don’t we take the girls and go out for a picnic tea?’
It was a lovely idea, and were it not for the fact that she was absolutely sure that not one drop of alcohol had passed her husband’s lips last night, she would have accepted his peace offering without a second thought. His story was so convincing he even had himself believing it, but there was more to it than that; a lot more. Willow didn’t need second sight to know that her husband needed her more than ever right now. Whatever was happening in his world, he was trying to shield her from it, just as he always did, only this time it was serious. This time he was scared.
* * *
Jude kissed his wife goodbye and left the house by the back door. He closed his eyes momentarily against the bright sunlight, and took a deep breath before continuing the short walk to his office. He wasn’t sure that he had completely got away with it, but Willow was not the suspicious kind, and she was worried about him rather than looking to find some darker reason for his behaviour yesterday. With any luck by this evening, she would have forgotten about it entirely. Jude, however, was certain that the events of the previous evening would stay with him for a long time to come.
* * *
Willow hoped Peter wouldn’t notice the bags under her eyes, although knowing him, he would and just wouldn’t say anything. Now more than ever, it seemed important to get her new venture well and truly underway. She was beginning to feel panicked, which was not like her at all, but last night had spooked her. She had never seen Jude look so distraught, and the fact that he had lied so blatantly about what had happened was proof enough that something was very amiss.
She stood in the doorway to her new stillroom, hands on her hips surveying the stacked crates of elderflowers, and the bags full of flower heads that had yet to be checked over. There was so much to do and the only way through it was to start at the beginning and work methodically. She picked up three huge boiling pans in succession, filling each with water and setting them to heat.
‘Peter, would you mind paring the zest from all these lemons, and then quarter the fruit when you’ve done that?’
He stared at the huge pile of waxy fruit on the table. ‘Good job I’ve got no paper cuts,’ he quipped.
Willow was weighing out quantities of sugar. ‘Just don’t pare your fingers at the same time as the zest,’ she grimaced, ‘then you’ll know about it.’
‘So, what exactly is it that we’re doing here?’ asked Peter. ‘Talk me through it from beginning to end.’
Not only was Peter super-efficient, he was a fast learner, and as Willow explained how she made her cordial, she knew she would only have to tell him once.
He nodded in understanding. ‘And how much are we making exactly?’ he asked, eyeing up the syrup from a previous batch dripping through a muslin cloth into the bowl below.
‘If I say until the elderflowers run out, promise me you won’t run away.’
Peter stared at her impassively. ‘Something tells me you don’t just mean that pile of elderflowers there.’
Willow wrinkled her nose. ‘Pretty much the whole field, and maybe the next one too…’
‘I see. And how many lemons would we need for that?’
She crossed the room to the tall fridge standing in one corner and pulled open the door. A mass of bright yellow ovals covered every shelf. She closed the door quickly.
