Page 69 of The Midnight Bakery
‘I shouldn’t need him to. I’d only be telling him to make myself feel better, and that’s never the right reason for doing anything.’
‘I think that’s incredibly brave, and selfless.’
William gave a wry smile. ‘Not that brave. I’m also terrified of telling him who I am because at best he’ll find out he has mefor a father, someone with a very dodgy past who deserted him as a baby, and at worst, I’ll find out that he’s up to his eyeballs in illegal activities and I’ll lose my job and probably a lot more besides.’
Frankie squeezed his hand. ‘There must be a way around all this. We’ll think of something,’ she said, shuffling her feet across so that she could nestle them against his.
‘Are you playing footsie with me?’ asked William, his voice warm with amusement.
‘Blimey, is that still a thing?’ she asked.
‘I’ve no idea,’ replied William. ‘But your feet are cold.’
She was still smiling ten minutes later, time during which neither of them had spoken. The shaft of sunlight was now playing across the edge of the coffee table and pretty soon it would reach them. She felt blessed by its presence.
She felt blessed by so many things and yet, in many ways, her existence was as precarious now as it had been when she first fled from Robert over eighteen months ago – more so, in fact. She had no idea what she would do if there was no job for her when the bakery sold – find another one, obviously – but the bakery was far more than just a place where she worked and lived. It had brought more kindness, and in such a short space of time, than her life had known before, and it had given her hope and peace, too. It had become her sanctuary, transforming the long, dark hours of the night, and within it she had found everything she thought was lost forever. She had found herself. And now William. And the thought of leaving was unbearable.
She thought about their circle of friendship, too, with Beth and Tam. It was a circle which bound them together, the type of bond which made you feel courageous, as if you could do anything because they would always have your back. And yet, none of them were settled. Beth might have kept her job, she and Jack might have found new ways to live the life they’d alwayswanted, but their problems were far from over. Tam might have found a way back to doing the things he loved, but he’d still lost his job, was still homeless and had now been betrayed not once but twice. All four of them had made tentative steps towards a new future, but each of them still bore the weight of chains which were holding them back, chains which were seemingly impossible to throw off, and yet…
A thought drifted into Frankie’s head, and then another and another. She was convinced that things could work out, for all of them, so if fate hadn’t yet had time to bestow all her gifts upon them, then perhaps it was time for Frankie to give her a helping hand.
She nestled deeper into William’s warmth beside her, his breathing now deep and rhythmic, and she felt her eyes begin to close. There was work to do first, but tomorrow was another day. First thing in the morning, she would…
34
Frankie
Frankie leaned up against her sink and contemplated what to have for breakfast. It was a little after nine and the lack of sleep over the last few days was catching up with her. She felt overwhelmingly weary, yet her head was still buzzing with all that she needed to do. She and William had woken with a start yesterday evening, surprised to find they had both slept for several hours, but both of them feeling the effects of falling asleep on the sofa – he with a dead arm, where Frankie had been lying on it, and she with a painful crick in her neck. She smiled at the memory, at the slight shyness that still existed between them, fuelled by worries that they might have snored, or worse, dribbled, in their sleep. But any potential embarrassment had soon turned to laughter and last night’s shift at the bakery had flown by.
It was one of the things which had made her more determined than ever to act on her decisions of the day before. Even in the short time William had been helping her, the thought that he would no longer be doing so wasn’t somethingshe wanted to contemplate. Having him there felt so right. And there was nowhere else she’d rather be. She had to make this work, one way or another. William had gone back to his flat, needing to run a few errands and catch up on some sleep of his own, so it was perfect timing. It wasn’t that she was keeping things from him, more that she needed certain confirmations first before she spoke to him.
She glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. There were a couple of things she had to take care of before she called Vivienne, and with any luck she just had time to catch Beth before she went to bed.
Not surprisingly, Beth’s voice sounded flat and lifeless. After rushing home in tears yesterday morning, Frankie suspected that whatever sleep she had managed hadn’t come easily.
‘How are things?’ she asked, fervently hoping for some good news.
‘As you might expect,’ replied Beth. ‘It’s all a bit rubbish, actually. Jack is alternating between feeling everything is hopeless, burning with anger that the hospital could have done what they have, and a brittle optimism that somehow I’ll get another job with far more money and the roses will start coming up again.’ She sighed. ‘And I guess that’s where I am too. I spoke to Lisa at the hospital last night – she’s my line manager – and she’s furious too. She’s done everything she can to get them to change my shifts, but they won’t budge. The whole workforce has been completely restructured, and if I don’t like it then I know what to do. One of the nurses whohasbeen made redundant would no doubt jump at the chance of my job…It’s not that I’m not grateful, but I kind of stopped listening after that. Nothing changes.’
‘Oh, Beth…’ It was about as bad as Frankie feared. ‘What will you do?’
‘I still have no idea. I can’t even think straight right now. Get some sleep, I guess, and then attempt to work out some way for us to manage. At the moment I can’t see how on earth I can work during the dayandlook after Jack. We simply can’t afford any help.’
Frankie nodded, feeling her stomach tightening a little. Now that the time had come to say what she needed to say, the doubts were beginning to creep in. Was she doing the right thing? Or was she just plain meddling? ‘About that,’ she said. ‘I’ve had a bit of an idea…’
Tam was busy when she rang him, slightly out of puff from sawing up planks of wood, but sounding remarkably chipper. Frankie had already written her questions down beforehand so she wouldn’t forget anything, and although Tam was surprised by them, he was more than happy to give his advice. He still made light of any experience he had on the subject, just as she knew he would, but she also knew she could trust what he said. It would stand her in good stead.
‘There’s just one more thing, Tam,’ she said. ‘Before I let you go, I wondered if I could talk to you about William.’
‘William?’ Tam sounded bemused. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘More than,’ replied Frankie, knowing he would hear the smile in her voice. ‘It’s just that I’ve had a bit of an idea…’
Frankie’s stomach growled. She still hadn’t made any breakfast and she should probably eat before calling Vivienne. It might help settle her stomach. Then again, it might make her feel even more queasy…And besides, she needed to get this over and done with. She had to know whether it was even a possibility.
Vivienne answered on the third ring.
‘Frankie, hello. I was just on my way out. Is everything okay?’
