Page 12 of The Midnight Bakery
Tam wrinkled his nose. ‘I’d rather not, if it’s all the same. And snarky doesn’t begin to cover how I feel, so I’ll make it clear, shall I? You took my dream, Chris, pretended it was yours and then shat all over it. So no, I don’t think you can make it up to me, and I’ll take my chance with my rubbish job, thanks. At least it’s honest.’
Chris glared at him, looking hot under the collar despite the cold wind blowing down the street. ‘Fine. Have it your way. But you’re making a mistake here, Tam, and you know what they say – pride comes before a fall.’
‘I’ve fallen further than I ever thought possible,’ replied Tam, jaw clenched so hard his teeth hurt. ‘And I’ve made all the mistakes I’m going to. Now, in another five minutes I’m going to be late for work, so if you’ll excuse me…’ He took several steps forward as Chris moved to one side to let him pass.
‘I bumped into your mum the other day,’ said Chris from behind, his voice suddenly silky smooth. ‘She doesn’t know, does she? She asked me how the business was, and if the next time you visit her you could bring a nice little potted plant for her friend Marjorie’s birthday.’
‘Leave my mum out of this,’ growled Tam. ‘And no, of course she doesn’t bloody well know. It would break her heart, literally,if I told her, and she’s not to get stressed. She’s been pretty stable this last year, and I aim to keep it that way.’
At that, Chris’s stance changed. His shoulders dropped and his chest deflated. ‘I’m sorry, Tam, I really am. Look, if you change your mind, you know where I am. It’s a good job, and it could be the start of something better for you. You’d have more money, you’d be able to get a place of your own again. Think about it at least. The offer still stands.’
Tam gave him one last look and carried on walking.
He didn’t look back. He’d made a pact with himself to never look back. But even so, he hadn’t gone more than a few yards before he wondered if his pride had been doing the talking for him. Except it wasn’t pride, was it? There might be something puritanical about the way he lived now, but he wasn’t wearing a hair shirt for no reason: it was the principle of the thing. He had to make amends for what he’d allowed to happen. Behaviour like Chris’s was infectious, and Tam was scared that if he was exposed to it again for any length of time, he would end up thinking that dodging the consequences of his actions was okay, just as Chris had. He’d forget all the people who had been hurt when his business went under, the stress he had caused them, the livelihoods that could have been ruined had Tam not sought to repay them by any means open to him. Knowing that he had made things right was the only reason he could sleep at night. He shook his head at the thought. That was a joke in itself.
He could remember vividly the first night he had slept in his car. How naive he had been, thinking that he could just park up and sleep the night away. He’d only managed two nights in the same street as Chawston House – not right outside, just a little further along the road – but those two nights had clearly been two too many for the other residents in the street. And on the third he had been ‘moved on’. It had been the same story ever since. Remove the four walls of a house and Tam instantlychanged from a respectable, law-abiding person to someone you would cross over the road to avoid. Scum, in other words. And what hurt was that, inside, Tam was the same person he’d always been, and always would be, but that wasn’t enough. He’d never be a part of the world again until he could acquire four walls, and that was what almost made him turn around and run back after Chris. Almost.
There was always something going on at Chawston House. Gemma, the Pets As Therapy lady had been in that morning, and he waved as he spotted her and her two huge golden retrievers on the other side of the road. And, as usual when Gemma had been in, Tam was met at the gate by Eric, one of their residents, who would have gone home with Gemma if he could. As it was, once the visit was over, he insisted on accompanying Bonnie and Tyler right to the front door of the house, holding both dogs while Gemma signed out, before escorting them all down the driveway. Once there, he would stand, waving, until Gemma and her dogs disappeared from view.
‘Morning, Eric,’ he said, as he slipped through the gate, smiling at the staff member who stood beside him. He liked Marina; you could always tell when she was on duty because you could hear her laughing long before you saw her. Today, she had a look in her eye that Tam knew well: a warm, compassionate sadness. ‘Hey, did you see those dogs, Eric?’ he asked. ‘Beauties, weren’t they?’
Most of the time, Eric returned to the house without any issue. Sometimes, it took the suggestion of a cup of tea to entice him back inside, but on occasion, like today, Chawston House had simply slipped from Eric’s memory.
He was still staring down the road. ‘I had a dog once,’ he said. ‘Just like those two, only black…and a bit smaller.’
Tam laid a hand on Eric’s sleeve. ‘I don’t think you’ve told me that before. What was his name?’
‘Hername,’ replied Eric, smiling. ‘She was called Floss, the best sheepdog, she were, for miles around.’
‘Really? So, were you a farmer then?’
‘Oh aye, one hundred and forty-five ewes, we had.’
Tam flicked a glance at Marina. ‘Blimey, I bet they were a handful. No wonder you needed a sheepdog to keep them under control. Did you whistle for her, like you see on the television?’
‘Course…’ said Eric, staring at him, puzzled. ‘How else do you get her to do what you want? That’s how she were trained. I had her right from a pup.’
‘I’ve never really understood how that works but, tell you what, Eric—’ He broke off, rubbing his hands together and shrugging his shoulders. ‘It’s freezing out here. Would you like to come inside for a cup of tea, and you can tell me all about it? I’d love to know.’
‘Only if you’ve got time…’
Tam checked his watch. ‘I have. Lunch won’t be for an hour yet.’ He touched Eric’s sleeve again and began to slowly walk towards the house, waiting a second or two to make sure Eric was following. ‘Actually, you could stay and have some if you like. I think it’s fish and chips today.’
‘Is it? That’s my favourite.’
‘Blimey, what are the chances? Good job you stopped by then.’
‘Are you coming too?’ Eric asked Marina. ‘You look like you could do with a warm through, you’re shivering, girl.’
‘If that’s okay,’ she replied, smiling. ‘I am a bit cold. And I’d love to hear more about Floss, too, she sounds like a darling. I’ve got a spaniel called Jasper but he’s mad as a box of frogs. He definitely wouldn’t be any good with sheep.’
‘That’s because he’s a retriever,’ said Eric. ‘Not his job, is it?’
Safely through the front door, Marina steered Eric down the hallway. ‘Shall we go and put the kettle on?’ she said.
‘Aye, my room’s this way…’
She turned to smile at Tam, who was hanging back so he could pop into the office to sign in. ‘Trish asked if she could have a word,’ she whispered. ‘See you later.’
