Page 27 of The Midnight Bakery
Frankie raised her eyebrows. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘That was rude. I just have a problem with men who throw their weight around.’
‘He didn’t though. Not at all, now I come to think about it. He even apologised for offering because he didn’t want to imply that I was incapable.’
‘See?’ Frankie shrugged, smiling. ‘Don’t listen to me.’
‘Maybe…’ Beth smiled back. ‘But I didn’t exactly behave well myself. After I’d told him I wasn’t in the slightest bit judgemental of his residential status, I then pretty much accused him of wanting to attack me simply on the basis of his being a man. In fact, he probably thought I was completely vile. I don’t really remember what I said, I was too busy being stressed.’
‘So, if he changed the tyre, how come he ended up giving you a lift home?’
‘Because he didn’t. The spare was flat too.’
‘Ah…’
Beth nodded. ‘I know, nice one. So, after I’d panicked some more about not being able to call the garage because it was too early, and not having the time to get a taxi because I’d have to walk to the station, or get any of my friends to give me a liftbecause they all work at the hospital, he offered to drive me home.’
‘So, what was he like then?’ asked Frankie.
‘Really lovely.’ Beth sighed. ‘He even insisted on speaking to Jack before we left so he could introduce himself – he works in a local care home – and reassure him there was nothing untoward going on. Jack invited him in for a cup of coffee and they seemed to get on like a house on fire, bonding over their love of the countryside…’ She trailed off, gaze dropping to the table. ‘I’m such a bitch.’
Frankie stared at her, horrified to see tears welling at the corners of her eyes. ‘What on earth makes you say that?’
‘Because I made it sound as if I didn’t want him there. I shut him down when he was speaking and then, as he was leaving, I warned him off encouraging Jack with his dreams about the farm. Said I didn’t want him upset. I could see Tam didn’t agree with me, and he told me not to worry, told me in all likelihood I’d never see him again. Then he said he’d probably be moving on from the car park anyway, just to make sure.’
Frankie didn’t know what to say.
‘And I only said what I did because I was embarrassed about the fact that I’d cut short their conversation earlier. I wanted to explain why but ended up looking like a prize cow.’ She shook her head. ‘Iama prize cow. There was absolutely no reason to behave the way I did.’
‘Maybe you were just looking out for Jack,’ said Frankie gently. ‘Like you always do.’
Beth nodded, but then shook her head several times, no longer able to hold back the tears which began to spill down her cheeks.
‘We had a terrible row after he left.’
Now Frankie was beginning to understand.
‘It was worse than we’ve ever had. In fact, we never argue. Maybe that’s part of the problem…’
‘That doesn’t sound like a problem to me.’
‘I don’t think we’re very good at talking to one another. Even after the accident we never really…’ She trailed off. ‘Emotions were running so high. Jack was in a lot of pain, and he was right, I just took over – organised him, and us, to within an inch of our lives and then simply carried on. It’s been that way ever since.’
Frankie hated to see her friend so upset. ‘I think…no, I’m pretty certain that would have been the only way for you to deal with things. Of coping with an event that was, literally, life-changing. Don’t ever feel bad about doing what you needed to get you through the day. You’re a nurse, Beth, you did what you do best. You cared.’
‘I smothered.’
Frankie took hold of her hand and gave it a squeeze. ‘I doubt that. So don’t berate yourself for what you’ve done. I can’t begin to imagine what it must have been like for Jack, but it was equally as bad for you. I’m not the best person to give relationship advice, but you’re a strong woman, Beth. You rose to the challenge that life threw at you, and you live that challenge day in, day out. That takes a lot of guts and energy, let alone the sacrifices you have to make. I think we women should stop putting ourselves down. I think we’re pretty damn amazing.’
She said it with such force that Beth stopped in her tracks, sniffing. ‘So, what do you do to put yourself down?’
‘Oh, plenty, believe me.’
‘Such as?’
But Frankie just smiled. ‘Another time, maybe.’
She sat back as the waitress appeared with two plates, waiting until she had placed them on the table and moved away before resuming the conversation.
‘So, how’s it been the last few days?’ she asked gently.
