Page 114 of Drop the Gloves
“No idea,” he confessed.“Like, none.”
“You’re sure?”Riley asked.“Because I got that you weren’t experienced, but I thought it was because you had, like, a low sex drive.Not because you hadn’t touched dicks before.”
“I’d touched a dick before.“
“Yes.Singular.Your own.That’s not very many dicks, Ev.”He waved a hand.“We’re getting off topic here.So, what?You were freaking out because you were having an existential crisis about wanting the dick of someone you secretly hated?”
“I wasn’t freaking out.”Riley gave him a sharp look, so he backtracked.“It wasn’t that bad.”
“If it were a normal amount of freaking out,” Riley said, “you would’ve talked to me about it.”
His shoulders slumped.“I’m sorry.”
“Fucking Canadians and their apologies.Evan.I know you’re sorry.I’m sorry.Everyone’s sorry.It’s meaningless if we don’t learn something from it.So what’s the lesson we’re trying to learn here?Things are broken right now, but what part are we trying to fix?”
Riley radiated desperation and exhaustion, and all Evan wanted to do was tuck him into bed like at the Christmas party and get him through the night.Evan didn’t know how to get from here, this minefield of a conversation that felt like he could destroy everything with a wrong step, to that point where he could wrap Riley in his arms and take care of him.But Riley’s defenses were down, so he tried to lower his.
“I want to be together,” Evan said.“I want to get to be with you every night after practice and games.I want to sit next to you when we travel and talk to you about whatever the fuck you want to talk about.I want to take care of you right now when you’re hurt and deserve to be taken care of.I want things to be like they were, but better because I’m done with my bullshit.Please.Can we fix this?”
“Why?”The question was so quiet, it barely disturbed the air between them.He had to read it on Riley’s lips because he wasn’t sure he’d heard it correctly.“Why would you want that with me?”
Evan stepped forward, one foot then another until he’d closed the gap between them.As gently as he could, he put his hands on Riley’s cheeks, mindful of the stitches.He traced a line parallel to the mark, watching to see if it hurt.
“I think,” he whispered, “that I’m falling for my teammate...and I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t be with him anymore.I’ve never felt like this for anyone, ever.That’s got to mean something, right?How could I not want to try to make it work with you?”
Riley whined.“Evan,” he warned, and he didn’t have to say anything for Evan to understand.
Don’t say shit like that if you don’t mean it.
“It’s true.It’s so fucking true, and if there’s the slightest chance you’d want me back?—“
Before he could finish, Riley’s arms were around his neck and pulling him down to mash their lips together.Evan groaned into the kiss, so relieved and happy to be allowed to have this again with Riley.
“No one like you has ever given me the time of day,” Riley muttered between kisses, then buried his face in Evan’s chest.Evan could feel him breathing in his scent.“Nice guys don’t like guys like me, for all the reasons you didn’t like me.I should’ve known it was too good to be true before.”
Evan wrapped his arms around Riley and held him as tightly as he dared.“You are a tiny ball of anger,” he teased, twining his fingers through Riley’s hair.Fuck, he missed his hair.
“Fuck off,” he said into Evan’s shirt.
“Some might say it’s your best quality.”
Riley pinched him.
He kissed the top of Riley’s head and stepped back.“You need sleep.”
“No, I—“ He yawned, flinching as his mouth stretched wide but still unable to contain it.“Ugh, I need sleep.”He eyed Evan warily.“You gonna...hang out?Stay?”
“Can I sleep?Believe it or not, your doorway wasn’t very comfortable.”
Riley’s whole body released whatever last bits of tension it’d been holding onto.“Fuck, yes.Sleep.I’ve slept like shit without you.”
So he helped Riley undress and got him settled in the puffy hotel comforter, then he climbed in after him.He’d expected to wrap himself around Riley, encasing him in that protective layer he thought Riley would crave after getting hurt, but instead Riley pulled him in and laid his head on Evan’s chest.Ear pressed to Evan’s heart, he took one deep breath after another until slowly his grip relaxed.Trapped—though was he really trapped if there was nowhere else he’d rather be?—Evan rubbed circles on Riley’s back until his snores joined Riley’s.
47
Evan technically didn’t sleep well.He was woken up every time Riley moved, which got more frequent as his pain meds wore off, so Evan watched the sun rise bit by bit, more of the hotel room coming into view as Riley rolled back and forth, dislodging blankets and pillows.And sometimes kicking or punching Evan as he did.
Even so, Evan wanted the night to last forever.
