Page 73 of Drop the Gloves
It wasn’t just this sudden interest in men that was throwing him.It’d be a hell of a lot easier to figure this shit out if it weren’t Barczyk.If he could’ve had this internal crisis about literally anyone else, it might’ve been easier to wrap his head around it.He didn’t want to sort through questioning his sexuality while also navigating it with someone he’d thought he’d hated.
“No,” Evan said.“I don’t think it’s that.”
“Well, that’s a relief.I don’t think that’s something you can change.”Dalton took Evan’s abandoned milkshake and started pouring it into his own.“So it’s just kind of a weird adjustment for you, and you’re stressing out about people finding out while you figure it out?”
Huh.That was a piece of it.Like, he could talk about this to Dalton because Dalton hadn’t known Evan his whole life.Lately, Evan felt like he had no idea who he was anymore, and he didn’t want his family back home hearing about this before he’d gotten an actual answer himself.Never mind that this could tank his career.There were some players in the league out, thanks in part to Lars Nilsson’s very public self-outing a few years ago, but Evan wasn’t blind or deaf.Not every team was as supportive as the Crabs, and Evan didn’t want people around the league talking about him for this.He wasn’t established enough to risk his career over something he was just finding out about himself.
But the biggest piece, the part that made Evan’s stomach do flip-flops and his heart skip a beat, was that it was all because of Riley Barczyk.If Evan had already known he was gay, if he were already out among friends, if he already had the team’s support, the fact that he craved Barczyk in a way he’d never craved anyone or anything before, that would’ve always scared him shitless.
“I’m worried what figuring it out might mean,” he said.There were a lot of possibilities, twists and turns, and no obvious end point.Evan didn’t know which one he was aiming for, never mind how to get there.“Do I figure it out on my own, or do I figure it out while I keep hooking up with this guy?”
Dalton’s face scrunched up like he’d bitten into a lemon.“Uh, that might depend on the guy.But you can kinda do both, right?I assume he’s local, and we’re not in town that often.Think it through on the road and enjoy your nights together here.Win-win.”
“Win-win,” he repeated, defeated.If only being out of Pittsburgh meant any escape from Barczyk.It was ten times worse when they were in the same hotel and he knew Barczyk was only a few doors away.There five whole days in town, filled with practices and games, gave him no break.He’d just have to put some distance between them while he could.Clear his head and see if Barczyk was really as intoxicating or if Evan was getting caught up in the moment.
“Thanks,” Evan said to Dalton as they headed to the parking lot.“This helped.”
“No problemo.You helped me work up the nerve to ask out Jennie, so I owed you one.”He pulled Evan into a hug and patted his back.“Good luck, bro.Hope it works out.”
“Me too.”
30
Evan managedto avoid Barczyk for a whole day.There was an optional skate the next day, and while Barczyk took the ice, Evan didn’t.He went home and caught up on the chores that always piled up while he was out of town, and when a message went out on the team chat about meeting up, he said he was busy so Barczyk wouldn’t message him privately.
But he couldn’t reasonably ignore Barczyk when they suited up for their game against the visiting Ohio Otters.In the locker room, Evan kept his eyes fixed on his gear as he got ready.He had no plan, but they needed not to be suspicious.It hadn’t been long enough for Evan to forget that night in Philly, and he was sure it’d be obvious on his face if he so much as looked at Barczyk.If he had to talk to him, they were doomed.
On the ice during warm-ups, it felt safer.The growing crowd made his problems seem insignificant.He was just one person of the thousands who were here, the thousands more still arriving.Evan Abernathy sleeping with his teammate and having feelings about it seemed so dumb in a place this big.
Better yet, it gave him the cover he needed to interact with Barczyk andhave no one think anything of it.
“Did we ever figure out a lucky number?”Evan skated to a stop beside Barczyk, his stick up and ready to smack him.
“My lucky number’s seventy-three,” Barczyk said, working his mouthguard from the left side of his mouth to the right.“So maybe not that.”
“Twenty-one isn’t sounding great either.”He whacked Barczyk once, twice, and watched him drift a few inches forward each time.“We play it by ear?”
“Works for me.”
They switched spots, and Evan leaned over, bracing himself.Barczyk stood behind him and whispered, “Don’t worry, Evan, I’ll go easy on you.”And then backed away and hit Evan harder than he’d expected.Or it could’ve been what Barczyk said, because Evan went down hard, knees hitting the ice with a loud thud.
“Abs!”Barczyk cackled.“What the fuck?People are gonna think I’m beating you to death over here.”
He hopped back onto his feet.“Well,Riley,” he hissed and enjoyed the way Barczyk gulped.“I was a little blindsided by?—“
“Oh shit, I forgot.”Barczyk’s attention had shifted behind Evan, and he pushed past him at a near sprint.“BRB!”he called over his shoulder and raced to center ice.
Evan stood there dumbfounded.He watched as Barczyk practically jumped into another player’s arms at center ice.A player on the Otters, which was weird since Barczyk had never played for them.When the hug broke apart, Evan recognized Ryan Russell, alternate captain and very publicly out NHL player, pat Barczyk affectionately on the head.
They talked for a solid minute—Evan checked the timer on the scoreboard as it marked that warm-ups were drawing to an end—with both smiling and laughing.Evan didn’t like or understand why he was clenching his jaw or that he was breathing so shallowly or the way he wanted to skate over there and insert himself in their conversation, but he relaxed as soon as the two took off their gloves to shake hands and went back to their respective teams.
It made him feel a little better when Barczyk came right back to him.
“So what’s the game plan?We being responsible today or are we?—?”
“You know Russell?”Evan blurted out, watching the other center.Russell was at his bench talking with a teammate, looking relaxed and cheerful in a way Evan hadn’t felt in months.The bastard wasn’t just talented; he was handsome and friendly too.Good thing he was already dating someone or else?—
Or else what!?Why did it matter?
