Page 99 of Drop the Gloves
“I got over it,” he said.He chanced a glance up at Riley, but his expression was inscrutable.
Riley licked his lips.“When?”
“Huh?”His heart lurched.
“When did you get over it?”
Although he should answer, he didn’t want to admit how recently it’d been; he stayed quiet.
“You weren’t over it when I came here,” Riley continued on, ignoring Evan’s silence.“How long were you pissed at me and wouldn’t even tell me?Because God forbid Evan Abernathy have to be the bad guy even for a second.What else haven’t you told me?”
This was an answer Evan felt better about giving, so he said, “You’re the first guy I’ve ever been with.”
That seemed to derail some of Riley’s anger.“Ever?”
“Yeah.”
“Like—?”
“Firstever,” Evan said.“First anything.Period.End of sentence.”
Don’t make me spell it out...
Riley blinked at him.“Oh.”
“Oh?”His mouth had gone dry, but he forced out, “Was that…not okay?”
“Huh?No, it’s just…” Riley sighed and looked up at the ceiling.“I mean, I had an idea you didn’t have a lot of experience ‘cause of what Dalty said but?—”
“What do you mean?”Evan interrupted.That couldn’t be right.“You talked to Dalty about me?”
“Evan, I talk to everyone about you,” Riley said.It was the hardest blow he’d landed all evening.
“Riley, I’m?—“
“So what’s all this been?Am I the demon from your past I’ve been teaching you to beat?Why didn’t you say anything?”His voice was raised, but he wasn’t yelling; Evan wilted under Riley’s gaze.
“You didn’t remember,” he said, pleading for Riley to understand.
As he saw Riley’s body language shift, it wasn’t because of some mutual understanding.Evan watched Riley close off, the veneer of calm dissolving as he took a deep breath through his nose and his brow furrowed into a deep scowl.
“Probably,” Riley said carefully, “because there wasn’t much to remember.”
Evan stiffened.“My shoulder?—”
“You miss a game?”Riley asked coldly.Evan didn’t say anything, just stared incredulously at Riley.“Practice?”
“I missed a practice,” Evan said.“Just because it wasn’t bad, that doesn’t mean it was okay.It could’ve?—”
“Evan.”Riley said it so forcefully, Evan’s jaw snapped shut.“Hockey is a very physical, dangerous sport.You cannot step on the ice if you’re not willing to face the possibility of getting hurt while you’re on it.”Evan tried to look away, so Riley smacked his hand against the mat.“I’m serious.Stop ignoring this.I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m glad it wasn’t worse, but you can’t play like this where you’re scared.And you can’t put that burden on everyone else, that they need to play differently because that’s not what you want.”
“I don’t?—”
“You do,” Riley said firmly.“You blamed me for this shoulder thing for maybe a whole fucking year because that was easier than accepting that hockey’s dangerous and sometimes shit happens.You’re annoyed that the coaches tell you to play more physical.You want to be the injured party here because poor Evan, nice Canadian boy, doesn’t want to play the same sport as the rest of us.”
He pushed off the mat and pointed a finger at Evan.“Play how you wanna play, but don’t get bitchy at the rest of us for doing it differently.”
That was Evan’s chance to say something, to defend himself or fight back or, hell, maybe agree and apologize.But he sat there, trapped under the weight of this argument.All those uncertainties about where he stood with Riley, all his guilt and anxiety, they pressed on his chest.This was why he hadn’t wanted to talk about the hit with Riley.It served no purpose, just got Riley defensive and made Evan miserable.
