Page 100 of Drop the Gloves
“I’m not fighting any more battles for you,” Riley said.He looked disappointed at Evan’s silent acceptance.He turned around and walked away, and suddenly Evan could move.
“Riley, wait—“ He jumped to his feet.He could still catch Riley.He could fix this.
“Go home, Evan,” he called over his shoulder.“I’ve got nothing left to say to you right now.”
He realized once he was alone that Riley had apologized.Months and months of wanting nothing but some acknowledgement and sympathy, and he’d finally gotten it.
It didn’t make him feel any better.
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Evan drove home,replaying the argument over and over.Washethe bad guy in all this?Riley seemed to think so, and he had valid points.Evan had felt uncomfortable with Riley on the team, and he should’ve cleared the air early in the season.
...but that would’ve only made Riley feel better.He could’ve wiped his hands of the whole thing earlier.He’d have said his minimal sorry, Evan would have been forced to accept it, and Evan would have continued to be frustrated and upset.It was only after months of spending time together that Evan could even trust Riley’s apology—that he hadn’t meant to hurt Evan or anyone, that was just an unfortunate byproduct of how he played.In August, he would’ve thought Riley was full of shit.
And Riley didn’t care about what others thought of him.If he rubbed someone the wrong way, he shrugged it off or joked about it.Not saying anything about the shoulder incident wasn’t the problem.If it’d been Dalton or Lawson or Vassiliev or literally anyone else on the team, Riley would’ve said sorry and moved on, regardless of how that teammate felt about his apology afterward.
The problem was that it wasEvanwho’d held it in.
Evan, who’d been holding onto resentment but been perfectly willing to accept Riley’s help.Willing to do a lot more than accept help.
In the Abernathy-Barczyk duo, he didn’t think any of them had done anything wrong...but Evan had been pretty shitty to Riley.He understood why Riley was upset and felt taken advantage of.
“Iamthe bad guy,” he mumbled as he parked his car and laid his head against the steering wheel.“Fuuuuck.”
He went inside his lonely apartment and plopped down on the couch to stare at the blank TV.All he wanted was to talk to Riley and fix things, but, as usual, Evan didn’t know how to do that.He wanted things to go back to the way they were a few weeks ago, when they were having fun.How had he fucked this up so badly?
That was an answerable question, so he grabbed a pad of paper and a pen from his coffee table, tore off the top pages with his packing and grocery lists, and started jotting down notes.
How did I fuck this up?
- confused about sexuality → probably gay
- upset about hit → needed to let that go, should’ve talked to Riley
- frustrated → I’m not a fucking kid, I shouldn’t have to change how I play
- avoidance → kept all this bottled in too long.
He went back to the first one and circled it several times, then drew an arrow to a blank space and started over.
definitely gay.
experimenting with teammate = bad idea
Well, that was a start.Seeing it all on the page helped him see all the pieces that had collided to get him into this mess.But he already knew there was a problem.That wasn’t going to help him solve anything.
How do I fix things?
- apologize to Riley.
It was a shitty way for Riley to find out, hearing it from someone else.It didn’t matter that Evan had moved past it.For Riley, this was a brand new issue.But after that very obvious answer, he was stumped.Clearing the air about the hit was only one side of the issue: that fixed things with Barczyk, his teammate and league pest.He was more concerned with how to fix things with Riley, his...his what?‘Guy friend’?Teammate with benefits?Hookup buddy?All of those sounded dumb and didn’t quite hit on what it was they were doing.
- need to figure out what I want from Riley (sex?relationship?go back to just teammates?)
His heart skipped a beat at the word relationship.What would that even look like?
“Horse before the cart,” he mumbled to himself.He had three possibilities written, and he wasn’t sure which one was the best choice.It was smartest to smooth things over and go back to being teammates with no sex involved.Friends, or friendly at least, with no more late nights together.Professional.No more Riley, just Barzy.
