Page 24 of Beautiful Notes
Looking at the clock as Mom walks away before I head outside, I see it's well past seven and I start to think it’s weird I haven’t heard back from Ollie after my last text. But I also don’t want to bother her, since she’s with her family. I miss being able to just pop over there when this shit show of a party gets to be too much to handle.
Ollie’s family always spends Christmas Eve with her grandparents at their house, having dinner, doing gifts, and playing games. This is the first year without Miss. Sharon and it's going to be weird for everyone. I can only imagine the state Ollie is in. They were the best of friends, and I hate that I couldn’t be there for her during that time.
We used to split our Christmas Eves, starting at our familial events and then either I would go spend time with her and Cole, or she and Cole would come here. We would play board games, watch Christmas movies deep into the night, eat holiday cookies, and drink spiked hot chocolate, hiding it from our parents’ every time they came to check on us.
Now that Penelope has two kids herself, I imagine someone is dressing up as Santa, and setting out snacks for the reindeer, which was always a favorite activity. I can just imagine everyone sitting downstairs near the giant, chaotic, but full of life and love Christmas tree, laughing as the boys open cars, trains, and fake power tools. Then Carter would take one of them outside to pretend to cut branches off the snow-covered trees.
Our Christmas’ looked vastly different as children, Ollie’s was full of life and family, whereas mine was full of egocentric community members pretending to be family. My father was a very well-known community member, and even ran for mayor once, so all of our big holidays were centered around the community and bringing the community together. I remember the parties being lively as a child. I would dress in green corduroy pants, with a white button-up and a Christmas sweater over it so that the collar of the shirt was sticking through. Bec would always fight Mom on her black, red, and green plaid dress she wore because she hated to wear dresses. But back then, everything was for show.
Once Dad passed, the parties changed. Mom does everything she could to continue the legacy of Dad’s festivities but also gives us more leeway in expressing ourselves. Tonight I’m wearing very dark wash jeans with a red holiday sweater on top, whereas Bec’s wearing leggings and knee-high riding boots, dressed up with a long green sweater that’s shorter in the front.
We both know Mom isn’t ready to let these parties go, even if we no longer want to participate in them, because it means letting go of a piece of the love of her life. But these parties are getting old, attendee numbers are down, and usually, there’s at least one person at the event who becomes the story of the night, and never a good story at that.
It’s a conversation Bec and I need to have with Mom since Bec’s graduating and moving out soon enough. And with me moving into my new house, there won’t be anyone here to support her.
I realize I haven’t seen Bec in at least twenty minutes and while our house is big, these parties are not that big where she could go missing. I begin to meander through the remaining people and down the hall toward our bedrooms. I can hear the television in Bec’s room and know she somehow managed to escape into her bedroom. This means I'm going to retreat into mine to hide for the remainder of the night. I'm all peopled out for the evening.
My phone buzzes as I waltz into my room and plop on the bed, Archie sneaking in right behind me.
Ollie: so so sorry it's been so long! I was playing with the boys and put my phone down and lost it and all the things. But I'm really excited for our friendship.
Chapter 18
Olivia
It'swellafter9p.m. when we finally get the boys settled from a night of chocolate, games, and presents. Even telling them Santa won’t be able to come if they’re awake didn’t work. We always do family presents on Christmas Eve and Santa presents on Christmas Day. It's nice to have little ones in the family again to do Santa on Christmas day again.
I spend the entire afternoon chasing Leo and Liam around, wiping chocolate off their faces, building train tracks, and running trains through their courses. We went outside to go sledding but I got too cold too quickly so we had to come inside. Spending time with the little ones is the best part about being home this holiday season. Living in Milwaukee is amazing, but also very taxing on family time when your littles live on the opposite end of the country.
I’ve always known Penelope wanted a large house and a large family but never imagined her living so far from home. She practically raised the boys and me, both of our parents working busy full-time jobs. Maybe she just needed a break from the cold and the winter, from the craziness of always being responsible. But seeing her interact with her two beautiful babies has been nothing short of amazing.
The patience that I never remember her having with me is extraordinary, especially when the boys are at each other's throats and constantly calling for “Mommy.” Do children ever call for their father? Her big blue eyes, and auburn-colored hair that’s pulled up in a tight bun with loose strands framing her face, are always calm, with the most welcoming and loving expression.
I can’t help but smile watching them interact and play on the floor. Halfway through the afternoon, I can tell that Pen is tired the boys are refusing to ap and she needs a break. She deserves a break. It’s odd that Jonathan isn’t here to help out or celebrate with us but when I asked Pen about it, she just brushed it off as work.
“Why don’t you two come lie on the couch with me and we’ll read a book?” I ask the boys as they come running out of their room for the fifteenth time avoiding nap time.
“You don’t have to do that,” I hear Penelope say as she rounds the corner.
I try my hardest to give her my best “you need this” look as Liam and Leo come running over with books. Pen knows how much I love books, so if I get to spend time with my littles doing my favorite activity, then it's the best day.
The laughter that comes out of the boys as they jump onto the couch and wiggle into comfy positions waiting for me to take my spot in the middle is the light of the holidays. It's so full of happiness and joy, and I'm curious if our laughter as children had the same effect on the adults as these boys do on me. I smile at Penelope and plop into the couch right between the boys. You can tell they’re both overtired by the way they giggle at everything, especially the fact that spicy salsa is a hard no for our favorite dragons inDragons Love Tacos. We make it through the giggles of dragons, but only about halfway throughNo, David!before there are two sleeping boys and an aunt who’s definitely trying not to doze off with them.
“Y’all are too quiet…” Penelope says as she rounds the corner and I quickly bring my hand to my mouth to shush her before she wakes the beasts. She smiles, grateful the boys are napping but also how cute we all look curled up on the couch together.
I roll my eyes at her and say “Help me up so we can have spiked hot chocolate.”
“Honey, you’re not getting up until those boys do.” She chuckles as she walks out of the family room. Knowing she’s right, I lean my head against the back of the couch and try to relax. I'm going to have to go see my chiropractor when I get back to Milwaukee after this.
I feel my phone vibrate against my leg and gently try to wiggle it out without waking Leo who is now lying with his head flat on my lap. Once I get it out, without even looking at it, I place it face down on the side table next to the couch, and close my eyes pretending to be asleep as Liam begins to stir against my side. I know if he sees Leo and I sleeping, he’ll just close his eyes again.
Turns out I’m sleepy too.
Chapter 19
Olivia
OneminuteI’mina deep slumber, the next I'm being jumped on by a tiny three-year-old monster, yelling at the top of his lungs for me to wake up. How long was I asleep? It looks dark outside, but it's also winter in Wisconsin, where it gets dark at 3 p.m. Looking over at the clock I notice it's just barely after 6 p.m.
