Page 6 of Evading Exodus
“Fucking Seth,” I muttered, dropping my head to Ace’s thigh.
“What?” Ace asked, pushing up on an elbow, one hand continuing to caress my hair. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Chapter 5: Hurt Me, Heal Me
(The Fifth Plague: Disease)
I didn’t answer, not trusting myself to keep it together. Instead, I grabbed the blanket off the floor as I got up from the couch and wrapped it around me.
“Dare?”
“I can’t… No, I don’t want to talk about it,” I said, standing with my back to him. I heard him moving around, heard the slide of fabric and the snap of the waistband as he pulled his pants on.
He put his arms around me and squeezed, not saying anything, simply waiting for me to speak. I relaxed into Ace’s embrace and tilted my head back to lean intohim. Sighing, I contemplated what I wanted to tell him.
“Look,” I began, “I don’t want to affect your friendship with Seth, but I also don’t want him to come between us.”
“He won’t,” he said, cutting me off.
“He might. I didn’t tell you everything before, just kinda gave you the basics of our relationship. I didn’t realize till now how much he screwed me up—mentally, sexually, I don’t know. Both, maybe.”
“Come sit and tell me.” He pulled me to the couch and arranged me in his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder, my hand sneaking from the folds of the blanket to lay on his chest, running absently over his bare flesh. He put his arms around me and held on, not tight, but firm, making his presence known. He grazed his lips along my hairline and forehead.
“Tell me,” he said again.
I closed my eyes.Where to begin?
“He was experimenting, I guess. Only he played me, Ace, used me.” I looked at him, earnestly begging him to see the truth as I told it. I wondered, if he asked Seth for his version, who would he believe?
“He told me he was coming to terms with his sexuality, found me attractive, wanted to know what it was like to be with a guy. We took it slow; there was his ex-wife to think about and his son. I didn’t mindcatching.” I smirked up at Ace as I used one of our baseball innuendos. He gave me back a little smile in encouragement.
“Seth didn’t want to, said he wasn’t ready, whatever… I went along with it for a while. A long while. I don’t know… Maybe he felt pressured, but he finally let me top. I did everything right, but to him, I guess, it was all wrong. Then the mind games started. First, he kept canceling our plans, or, when we did go out, I was wearing or doing the wrong thing. Then he started pushing me away, telling me I wasn’t right for him anymore. Like I was a disease he couldn’t cure himself of. He started harassing me at work. Eventually, I found out that he was seeing someone else.”
“I’m sorry, Dare,” Ace started.
“No!” I touched his cheek, turning him to meet my gaze. “I told you before, Ace. I don’t need an apology from you. In fact, I should be apologizingtoyou. I’m all kinds of messed up. I got to thinking that, even though it wasn’t my first time, I screwed up when I topped Seth, and that was it for me. My last ex didn’t care that I only played catcher. I should’ve been upfront with you about it.” I dropped my hand down to his shoulder and snuggled in, seeking strength in his warmth.
He held me a little tighter, and we sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke.
“I’ve got my own confession to make,” he said quietly. “Pitching isn’t my first choice.” That adorable little leer returned to his lips.
“Really?” He nodded. “Hmmm, I never would have known,” I told him, returning that smile two-fold.
“Well, that’s why I’m apologizing. Not for Seth, for me. I thought I could be all cat stalking his little mouse, but that’s not really me.”
I looked at him like he was a bit crazy, and he sniggered.
“I know,” he continued. “I’ve been trying to go with it, and sometimes it’s fun, but it’s not me. This, right here, is me. Simple, easy…cuddling up on the couch, watching a game or reading a book. Always wanted the candlelight dinners and the long walks on the beach.”
“Yeah?” I asked, raising my hand to his cheek once again.
“Yeah,” he answered, bringing his lips to mine. Light, chaste kisses peppered my mouth while his hand threaded into my hair, holding me in place. He licked my lips, seeking entrance, which I gladly granted. Ace’s tongue entwined with mine as he deepened the kiss. Eventually, we broke apart.
“I never took you for a romantic, Ace.”
He chuckled. “Well, I took you for one, especially with all those books you read. You never did tell me your favorite.”
“Favorite?”
