Page 44 of Foul & Fake
“Are you threatening me again?”
No. Not that she’d believe it. “What’s the article about anyway? Why him?”
She hesitates. “Insider trading. I was interviewing him because he’s the only finance major I know.”
“And you chose to meet with him when you knew I was at practice. Why? Why not tell me?”
She turns around to face me again with fire in her eyes. “Because I knew you’d say no, or you’d demand to come, and my interview would be shot because you’d make it some weird pissing match. And in case you’re curious, real or not real, I will never ask your permission to do my homework or my job.”
That’s fair as fuck. “I’m not — you don’t — fuck.”
What am I even trying to say to her right now? I’m scrambling to hang onto the ledge of something already collapsing, and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s messed with myhead so much I don’t even recognize myself, and yet all she sees is me being controlling. I am… but it’s also… more.
“You don’t need my permission,” I force out, needing her to hear me say it. “I didn’t mean to ask for permission, but if I was privately meeting with one of the girls I used to fuck I’d have at least told you. It’s common courtesy in real relationships.”
Which we are not in. Goddamnit.
She purses her lips. “If we ever become a real couple, I’ll keep that in mind. Until then, I just won’t speak or look at anything with a penis except for you. Though—” she pauses, smirking slightly — “I guess this is a good time to tell you I’m bi. So maybe I just won’t talk to anyone at all.”
Fuck me that’s so hot. How the hell am I supposed to focus now?
“You are?”
“Yep. So do I need to tell you every single time I’m alone with another human, or is it still just the guys you’re worried about?”
“Well, that would be sexist… or… homophobic? Whatever, no. I’m not trying to lock you in a box, alright? I just want to know if you’re going to be around someone you’ve already fucked. Do you not want to know if I am?”
Her face screws up and then slowly gets redder as she fumbles for an answer. “I don’t have that kind of time in my day, Elias. I’m sure you’ve fucked half the campus by now.”
Frowning, I reach out and touch her face, biting back my anger when she tugs away like I burned her. “I haven’t. I get why you won’t believe that, but I haven’t. I hadn’t even fucked anyone this year before I met you. Not at this school anyway.”
She scoffs, but I see it in her eyes when she softens. “I should’ve told you, okay? Even knowing you’d have been a psycho about it, I should’ve told you.”
“Thank you,” I force out, then realize with a jolt we’re actually fucking communicating for once. “You’re not wrong though,” I admit. “I’d have demanded I come along.”
“I just won’t let it happen again,” she says softly, crossing her arms over her chest like she’s hugging herself. “I know you’re mad, but please don’t release it.”
Shit. And that there is why she’ll never come to me, why she’ll never be able to trust me. “Can I hug you or are you going to knee me in the balls?”
“There’s a solid chance I’ll knee you in the balls,” she says quickly. “Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”
“Yeah, it is.” Before she can move, I wrap her stiff little body in my arms so she doesn’t have to hug herself. “I’m more mad that my hand hurts now than anything else, but I guess that’s my issue. I’m not releasing the video, alright?”
She relaxes slowly, gripping my shirt behind my back. “Well, you got what you wanted. I doubt he’ll ever speak to me again, even next year.”
“Good. I just don’t get why he didn’t hit me back. He just took the punch… who does that?”
“The kind of man who doesn’t think I’m worth fighting for, because we were never anything but fuckbuddies, and he genuinely wasn’t trying to get me back,” she says simply. “He has a girlfriend now.”
“Well I wish them all the vanilla sex in the world. The universe needs those people too.” Gripping her hair, I tug back slightly so she has no choice but to look at me. “Now kiss me like you mean it. People are watching.”
The light leaves her eyes a little before she closes them and kisses me, rocking up on her toes to manage it. To the outside world, it’ll look believable enough. But to me? I know how she kisses me when she’s into it, and this isn’t it.
I think I fumbled what just happened here, but as she takes my hand and lets me lead her back to her dorm, I decide not to push her any further.
Two steps forward, three steps back… if only I had a clue where the fuck we’re going.
Chapter 17
