Page 61 of Foul & Fake
Juliana looks between us with an amused expression before she’s grabbing Maci’s hand and tugging her to her old bedroom. “His relationship,” she shoots back into the room, and I have to fight the urge to chase after her and trip her.
“Cómo chingas,” I mutter under my breath, but my dad ignores me calling her annoying and moves on.
“The girl you were telling me about? What happened?”
Okay… not really what I expected, but I guess the season is over now, so it’s not like he can get on me for being distracted anymore. “Yeah. I think we broke up.”
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You don’t know?”
I can’t tell him anything really, so I go with something simple. I tell him how I didn’t treat her right, hurt her, and took advantage because I didn’t realize what I had when I had it. I tell him about our goodbye on campus and howfinalit felt and how every text message she’s responded to has been short and to the point.
He sits there for a while like he knows giving me dating advice is rich coming from an eternal bachelor, but when he tries anyway, I think I feel closer to him than I ever have.
“You love her.” It’s not a question, but I nod anyway. “And she loves you?”
This one I can’t answer. I might have manipulated her into thinking she loves me, but is it real? Can it be real?
Maybe this time apart is exactly what she needs for some clarity there, but I have no clue which side she’ll land on.
“If you love her, you need to fight for her.” I open my mouth to tell him all the reasons why pushing myself onto her isn’t the right idea here, but he holds up a hand to shut me up. “I wasn’t there for your mother,” he admits, and it’s probably the first time I’ve heard him take responsibility for what happened between them. “I was gone so much I understand why that isn’t the path you want to take. She left you guys because it got to the point where she was so overworked she couldn’t look me in the eyes anymore.” He looks like it still hurts, and I feel frozen to the spot. “You and your sister both have my eyes.”
It doesn’t excuse her abandoning us and forcing him into retirement, but it gives me more of the picture than I’ve ever had. She was human, we all are, and the thing about humans is we all fuck up. I sure have and after everything I’ve done to Riley… maybe it’s time I unblock my mom’s number and listen to her side for once.
“I was so angry at her, I let her go. You two didn’t hear, but she gave me the choice and I told her to leave, and that night will always be my biggest regret. I lost my wife, but you two lost your mother. Don’t live your life with regrets like me, mijo. If she comes to you with her heart open, you better fill it. I know a lovesick man when I see one, and that sickness will fester and ruin every relationship after if you let it.”
I’m too shocked to say anything for a while, both of us staring at the tree like we can see the lives we could have had through the Douglas fir. The lives we fucked up.
“I didn’t think you’d even want to meet her.” I also didn’t expect to admit that, but when I meet his gaze again I can see he understands why I felt that way.
“I put a lot of pressure on you.” It’s not an apology, but it’s more than he’s ever given me on the subject. “I just want you to be happy, my son. Of course I want to meet the woman you love. I should have realized it was serious when you told me about her at all. What’s her name?”
I’ve already told him her name, but it’s understandable he didn’t retain it when he was so focused on the season. I open my mouth to answer just as someone knocks on the front door. “Who’s coming over?”
“No se,” he answers, his chin jutting out at me in expectation, so I get up to go answer it.
Who I find there completely takes my breath away. “Riley?” I look past her like I might find answers. “You okay?”
I push open the screen door to invite her inside, but she steps back for me to join her on the porch instead. It’s a much better idea than mine, because out here we can actually have privacy, so I don’t fight it. It doesn’t make my heart beat any slower when I close the door behind me though.
“I wrote an article with the intention of getting your entire team suspended,” she admits, rushed and breathless. “I was going to turn it into my professor and spill all the dirty details about the hazing and all the fucked up shit that happens to the people who get involved, or happen to be caught in the crosshairs.”
Frowning, I take a second to let those words sink in, and the fact that she isn’t slapping me about what I said in my video catches me off guard. “O-kay. You said was… as in you decided not to?”
She looks so fucking cute right now in my hoodie that I have to stop myself from getting my hopes up. She very well could be here just to come clean like I did in my video.
“Yes. It was due a couple of weeks ago and I turned in something entirely boring.” She pulls out a thumb drive and shoves it into my hand. “That’s the only copy. I swear.”
I take it without any real intention of looking at it, because really there’s only one answer I need. “Why didn’t you?”
She stares down at the ground, slipping her hands into the pockets of her sweater. “I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to hurt you for everything you did, I couldn’t. I turned in some boring, nothing article instead and swore I’d never tell you because we were supposed to be done. It was supposed to be over.”
Pathetic hope flares in my chest. “Supposed to be? Did you watch my video?”
Her jaw ticks. “Yes. Which is why I came here. We have to end this stupid fake relationship, Elias. I’m not waiting until New Year’s. We’re breaking up now.”
Fuck.
I used to know how to breathe, but the muscle memory of the act fails me for so long I have to slump back against the screen door. I had a feeling this was where we would end up, but that doesn’t ease the blow in the slightest. It… hurts. Why does it hurt so bad?
