Page 111 of Love Deep
“I didn’t know she’d be here. Vivian sent her and Riley tickets.”
“And you’re pissed?”
“Uncle Jack, you can’t say pissed,” Felicity says. “I’m a child.”
Jack sighs. “Just don’t tell your mom.”
“What’s in it for me?” Felicity asks.
“You get to come to Vivian Cross concerts.” Jack turns back to me. “You’re upset that Vivian sent her tickets?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m not upset. No, Iamupset. I just…”
“You’re a mess,” Jack says. “Did you speak to Juniper?”
“I did. And I miss her.” I can’t say this to Jack because he won’t understand. How can anyone understand? But I say it anyway. “I think I’ll miss her for the rest of my life.”
He regards me with a frown. “I’m not very good at giving advice. Certainly not about women who you might miss the rest of your life. Most of the women in my life I’ve known for as long as I’ve been alive. The last girl I dated I was at preschool with.” He sighs. “New York is a very small place. I don’t get the chance to miss anyone. But if I thought I’d miss a woman my entire life... I’m not sure what I’d do, but I’d do something. I don’t think I could just walk away.”
“You’re right, you’re a terrible advice giver. Knowing I should do something doesn’t help when I don’t know what I should do.” Music starts to play from behind the curtain and the crowd starts to go wild, screaming, clapping, and trampling the floor. “It’s not like I can just leave New York and my business and move to Star Falls. You wouldn’t even dream about doing that. Would you?”
“Yes, but that’s me. You can do anything you damn wellplease. If you think you’ll miss her forever, you need to be with her.”
More unhelpful advice from Jack. I need Worth.
“She lives two thousand miles away,” I say.
“Make it happen,” he says simply, like all I have to do is cross Fifth Avenue and she’ll be there, ready and waiting.
“But how?” I ask.
“Fisher, you’ve done hard things your entire life. You’ve been practically estranged from your parents since college. You’ve discovered hundreds of talented artists, set up a successful independent record label that’s signed the biggest artists in the world. Figuring out how you and Juniper can be together isn’t even on your top ten list of the most difficult things you’ve done in your life. Figure it out.”
“I’m in love with her,” I splutter out, and I clutch my chest, not sure if my heart’s still beating.
“I can tell. I’m not an expert when it comes to these things, but I know that losing a woman has never caused me to miss a gym session, let alone given me the miserable face you’ve been wearing for the last few weeks.”
“I keep thinking it’s going to get better, but it keeps getting worse. She’s all I think about. She’s all I want.”
“Then what the hell are you playing at? You know how to go after what you want. Make it happen.”
There’s a smash of drums and the start of the intro to the song Vivian and I wrote together. I can’t take credit for any of the lyrics. But the melody is mine. I produced this one, too. It’s one of the later tracks that only just made it on the album.
I glance over to where I last saw Juniper and Riley, but I still can’t see where they are.
I just don’t want them to leave before I get a chance to speak to them.
FORTY-ONE
Juniper
I haven’t heard a single song Vivian has performed the entire night. She’s just finished her encore, and I swear it feels like it’s her first song.
“She’s so amazing!” Riley shouts beside me.
I grin at her and nod. My daughter’s so happy. Everything feels worth it. The cost of flying here. The hotel. Even seeing Fisher, despite how painful it was. I can’t decide if I wish he hadn’t been here. In some ways it would have been easier. I wouldn’t be able to picture him in New York. His beautiful face wouldn’t be redrawn in my mind.
But it doesn’t make me miss him more. That would be impossible.
