Page 130 of Ruin
I want to smack Vin and tell him to mind his fucking business, but then I see it so, so briefly: a flicker of relief beneath his bravado. Vin is genuinely concerned, not for himself for once, but for Tommy. He must be really scared for Tommy if he’s willing to stand out here and ask me for the favor of leaving him alone. It hits me that Vin loves Tommy as much as I do.
It also hits me that my love for Tommy is never going to die.
“What if…” My voice is quiet, shaky. This isn’t a conversation I want to have with Vin, but Vin is the only person who won’t give a shit enough to tell anyone else about it, and I know he’ll tell me the truth.
“What if what?”
“What if Tommy is the one I’m supposed to be with?”
Vin stares at me like I’m an idiot. “Tommy is definitely theone you’re supposed to be with. Everybody knows that but you, princess.”
I roll my eyes. So easy for him to say. “What if coming back is the first step to making that happen?”
“The first step to making that happen is losing the 200-pound bag of bitch boy you’re dragging around with you.” He steps in closer to me, lowering his voice. “And ‘what if’ isn’t good enough. Tommy doesn’t do ‘what if.’ He deals in absolutes. You’re his absolute, and you always have been. If you genuinely want to be with him, don’t come around him until you’re ready to make it happen the right way. Until then? Leave him the fuck alone.”
The fact that I’m the cause of Tommy’s pain and Tommy’s pain is so great that his asshole brother is out here to confront me over it has my eyes filling with tears in spite of myself. I can barely look at Vin and drop my gaze to the ground, not trusting myself to respond.
Vin taps my chin, forcing me to look up. He softens, just barely. “Not for nothing, princess, but Tony ain’t it. He’s a fucking, cheating idiot. If you’re not careful, you’re going to end up with an STI and a bunch of stepkids on the side. That’s if he doesn’t get himself killed because he’s not smart enough to stop putting himself in Tommy’s way. You deserve better.”
I nod, swallowing hard. He’s right. I hate that he’s right, but he is.
Instead of walking into the glittering gala, into Antonio’s waiting smirk, into a new nightmare for Tommy, I turn on my heel and walk back down the steps. Pulling my phone out, I type out a text.
We need to talk.
It’s not to Tommy. Not yet. It’s to Antonio. I’m not bringing the shit show that is my life to Tommy. First, I need to clean up the mess in my bed and in my head before I tell him everything he needs to know about Aurelio’s threat to hurt him. And how much he owns my heart.
59
Tommy: New Year’s Eve, 1 Year Ago
The Dragovari Tower ballroom is lit up like the inside of a diamond, every surface polished until it hurts my eyes. Laughter, champagne glasses, sequins catching the light. Same as every New Year’s Eve before it. Same as last year.
Except she’s here this time. I know she is. I can feel it.
Una is chattering next to me, scrolling through her phone, leaning in and pointing out different people. She’s very good at her job. She’s been with me for so many years that she could have easily parlayed her experience into a better position a dozen times by now, but she hasn’t, and I’m grateful.
Not only did Giovanna skip the gala last year, I heard she abandoned everything and left: her job, her apartment. Her boyfriend. Antonio didn’t give any indication that anything was happening with her, but then again he spent so much time fucking other women, it may have taken him awhile to figure it out.
I haven’t spoken to her in two years. But it wasn’t the lasttime I saw her. When I went to the usual places to watch her from a distance—her job, the gym, her apartment—she was never there, so I took to stalking her on social media.
She doesn’t post very often, but her friends tag her in photos. Most of them featured sunshine and cocktails and her hair blowing in desert winds. No Antonio. Just her. Just her smile. If I stare hard enough, sometimes it feels like I can breathe the same air as her again.
Standing at the edge of the dance floor, seltzer in hand, I can feel someone watching me. When I look up, Antonio is staring at me from across the room, stony-faced. We stay that way for a full minute, rage rising in my veins. Until he shifts his gaze, and I follow it. To her.
My world shifts on its axis. She’s looking at me, too. Everything else in the room seems to fall away: the chatter, the music, Una fluttering beside me. Then she smiles at me, the softest smile, a smile I haven’t seen on her in years, and I practically stop breathing.
“Tommy,” Una hisses, tugging my sleeve, trying to pull my attention somewhere else, but I shake her off without looking at her.
She’s like a magnet, pulling me toward her. I slip around the edges of the crowd, eyes locked on Giovanna. She’s radiant even from a distance, but as I get closer, I can see the changes. She’s older, more mature. Sharper. Stronger. Curves in all the right places. I’m fucking obsessed.
Her father, standing next to her, notices me watching her and her watching me back. Lorenzo’s mouth tightens, and he leans in, arguing with her. She doesn’t care, just keeps smiling at me, and when he grabs her as she starts to make her way toward me, she smacks his hand away and keepsgoing.
My girl.
As I get closer, her eyes sparkle, and I lose her in the crowd. Threading through the press of suits and sequined dresses, I make my way to the hallway she must have disappeared into, just in time to see the bathroom door closing. I slip inside before it shuts, locking it behind me.
She’s at the sink, looking at me in the mirror. I can’t stop staring at her, I can’t speak, and she smiles.
