Page 5 of Ruin

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Giovanna

He does this thing when he stares at me, this not-blinking thing that drives me absolutely insane.

It’s like he’s trying to have a staring contest with me, and no matter how hard I try, I am always sadly losing. His dark brown eyes are so intense, pinning me like I’m prey, as if I’m some unsolvable equation he refuses to stop working on.

I hold his gaze for as long as I can, but God damn it, my eyes keep tearing up. Fuck if I’m going to let him see me cry, so I look away, discreetly running my fingertip under my eyes so I don’t end up looking like a raccoon.

I’m not crying. Not exactly. I’m drunk is what I am. And frustrated.

I’ve known Tommy all my life. Growing up, everyone saw him as Vin and Matti’s weird, quiet little brother, but sometime in my teens, things changed between us. He inexplicably began to seek me out, hovering nearby whenever I was with my friends, and when we were alone, he would relax and talk to me. He turned out to bereally sweet and funny, but when I turned 17, he shifted into being an overprotective dick.

And I’m the fucking idiot who still wants to sleep with him even though he clearly doesn’t want me. Or maybe that’s why I want him.

God, I want him so bad it makes me stupid.

He’s just so… Tommy. Tall, lean, muscles cut into his physique like granite. Sleeve tattoos, olive skin, eyes the color of melted chocolate you want to drown yourself in, fringed by thick eyelashes girls would kill for. His mouth is fucking devastating, especially when he stares at me when he thinks I don’t see him and licks his bottom lip.

Forcing me to put on his hoodie tonight? That’s nothing. I can’t even count how many times he’s cockblocked me at parties and warned men away from me. But still won’t fucking touch me.

At this rate, I’m going to be a virgin forever. That’s a problem. My friends never stop talking about it, and every guy I meet wants to be the one to take my V-card from me. Except Tommy.

But he doesn’t get to control me. If he won’t have me, I know Antonio will.

“Happy New Year, biiitch!!”

My best friend, Lexington Barrow, barrels through the crowd toward me, shrieking. People step out of her way in alarm, but she doesn’t seem to notice. That, in a nutshell, is Lexi.

She loops her arms around my neck, then pulls back in disgust, plucking at Tommy’s hoodie that makes me look like a toddler playing dress-up. “Why are you wearing this thing?”

“I’m cold,” I lie, glancing at Tommy. His jaw ticks once, his posture rigid, as he watches us.

Lexi slides closer so we are both facing Tommy as Antonio comes back from the bar, carrying two drinks. She snatches one and sips it coyly, her eyes twinkling at Tommy. I know she wants him. She’s made that very clear. And while she gave me ‘dibs’ since we’re best friends and she knows I want to fuck him, she’d jump him if she had half a chance.

Which is fine. I guess.

“Did you kiss him at midnight?” she purrs.

I flush with embarrassment remembering his response when I asked him to. “No.”

It’s both my answer to her and an echo of his answer, and I glare at Tommy. It’d be so much easier if I could just hate him and move on.

“So then you won’t mind if I do.”

“Lexi—”

She shoves her drink at me, flounces over to Tommy, throws her arms around his neck, and slams her mouth into his.

My jaw drops. Rage sears my skin as he pries her off him and shoves her back. His eyes immediately lock on mine, and I scowl. Disgusting.

Antonio sidles behind me like a shadow. Wrapping his arms around my waist and putting a drink in my hand, his mouth is next to my ear. “Will you be my first kiss of the new year?”

I groan inwardly and down the drink.

I don’t know why I agreed to meet Antonio here tonight. Or any night. He’s hot, but he’s boring. So boring in fact that I’ve managed to turn all our dates into group events and usually disappear with Lexi.

In fact, I think I’ll do that now.