Page 97 of Ruin
“But I can’t breathe without her, Mrs. Marino.” The words are so true that they hurt to say.
Her hand lifts as though to touch my cheek, then falls away. “If you can’t give her the space she needs, it isn’t your fault. I understand that’s who you are. But perhaps letting her live her life without you for a while is the best way for her to truly see what she has in you and discover what she wants. Who she wants.”
I bite the inside of my cheek until I taste blood, fighting the urge to deny everything she’s saying, to swear I can be what Giovanna needs.
Instead, I nod, keeping my posture straight, my expression polite, civilized. Just like my Gi would want me to do.
“I do want to ask a favor of you. Her graduation party is happening this weekend,” Catarina adds. “Please let her enjoy it. Don’t make it about you. Sometimes love demands that we step back.”
I nod again, because it’s all I can manage. My throat is raw, the lie scraping out. “I understand. Thank you, Mrs. Marino.”
The mask holds. Catarina must see something flicker in my eyes, because she exhales slowly, almost like a prayer.
40
Tommy
Ikeep to the shadows just past the Marino fence line, where the floodlights from the rented tent don’t quite reach. The music carries, though, a bouncy pop beat thumping against my chest.
Lorenzo went all out. Lanterns strung high, tables loaded with food and wine, the kind of spectacle you’d expect from a father who actually gives a damn about his daughter. I almost laugh at the irony. He ignored her, dismissed her, tried to control her all her life. But for a crowd like this? For the optics of his perfect daughter crossing another milestone? As a reward for her leaving me? He’ll play doting father of the year.
My phone buzzes in my palm. I glance at the screen. Aurelio. I should let it ring out, but I don’t. “Yeah.”
“You were at the Marino house,” Aurelio’s voice grinds through the line, sharp as broken glass. “Lorenzo tells me you’re still chasing that little Marino cunt. How many times must I say it? She is not for you.”
I stare past the tent at the growing crowd. Where’s mygirl? “I hear you.”
“You do not act like you hear or understand what I am saying to you,” he snaps. “Let it go, Tommaso. You are my son. You have everything in front of you. Why do you cling to something so…so what is the word? Not of consequence.”
My jaw flexes, but my answer is nothing more than, “Inconsequential is the word. But it’s not like that.”
“Oh? So Lorenzo is calling me to tell me about your little games, and he risks lying to me? For what?” Aurelio spits. “Tell me.”
Before I can answer, my attention fractures as the sliding doors at the back of the Marino house open, and she steps out. Giovanna.
The crowd shifts like water around her as people reach out to hug her and congratulate her. I’m so proud of her. She deserves all the attention. Light catches the shimmer of her hair, the soft lines of her dress. My chest seizes. Christ, she’s beautiful.
Aurelio’s voice cuts in again, harsh, insistent, demanding a response. I murmur something noncommittal, my eyes locked on her.
I can’t hear what he’s saying, and I don’t care. Did she see what I left for her in her room on her vanity? Does she know it’s from me? Does she understand that it means that I know her better than anyone? That I’ll never stop until she’s back in my arms?
“Tommaso!” Aurelio roars. I can practically feel the leash snapping taut, and I grip the phone tighter. “If you do not obey me, I will end this with my own hands. You understand me? I will cut this cancer out myself.”
I let the silence stretch a beat too long as I decide whetherto lie. “I understand.”
The line goes dead. I know it won’t be the last time I hear about this, but I don’t care. Because she’s right there, laughing at something someone is saying to her. I’m too far away and the music is too loud for me to hear, but in my head I hear the way she laughs with me, her real laugh, when she’s happy.
I text her every morning. I call every night. Not once has she answered. Not a single time. And still, my thumb hovers over her name even now, even knowing she’ll never see it, that someone—something—is in the way. Maybe it’s her. Maybe she blocked me. But just in case, I text her again, congratulating her on her graduation.
Then I see Antonio.
He spots her from across the crowd, and I watch him watch her. She doesn’t see him, but he looks her up and down. At first, it’s not clear what he’s thinking, but then his mouth crooks into a smile, practiced charm sliding into place, and he goes to the bar and walks away with two drinks, heading straight for her.
My blood turns into molten lava, and my fingers clench my phone so hard I think it might snap.
He takes his time getting to her, standing behind her before he speaks. He leans in and says something that makes her turn in surprise, and she smiles at him.
My heart rate spikes in my veins as I watch her waste her gorgeous smile on that asshole.
