Page 93 of Ruin
“No.” I block the doorway. “We’ll talk now.”
My phone buzzes on the counter, and she glances at it then holds it up. It’s a text from my driver that he’s downstairs.
“Let’s go, Tommy. Just pick a tie, get dressed, and put on that fake smile you do so well now, and we’ll deal with this later.”
At a loss, I do as she says, choosing the blue tie and struggling to put it on as I follow her out the door. In the car, I keep tying and retying it, taking it off and trying again, until she takes it from me and ties it for me, her gaze fixed out the window.
Impulsively, I pull her into my arms, but she is cold and stiffand shifts away from me. We pull up to Dragovari Tower, and the driver opens the door for us. I get out first and wait for her, but she brushes past me.
Grabbing her hand, I pull her back before she can climb the steps to the huge concrete doors. “Giovanna. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m not doing this here.” She keeps her voice low, but she shakes off my hand.
“Doing what?”
“Come on, Tommy. This can’t be a surprise, even for you. You don’t come home half the time, and when you do, it’s usually after midnight. I’ve been staying out later and later, and some nights I don’t come home at all; you never notice. You just don’t have time for me, and even when I tell you how important it is, you blow me off always with the excuse that it’s for ‘us.’”
“Giovanna, why don’t you understand—”
“Why don’tyouunderstand?! I’ve made it clear to you that I just want to be with you, have a relationship where we spend time together, talk, fuck, like a normal couple.” She hisses the words out with a glance over her shoulder to make sure that no one is listening. “But you seem constitutionally incapable of that. I’ve tried to pretend that I could accommodate that for you, that your idiosyncrasies are harmless, and maybe they are, but this relationship doesn’t make me happy anymore. Being with you doesn’t make me happy. Because I’m not actually with you, Tommy. I’m on the sidelines hoping that you’ll decide that I’m worth your time and attention.”
I grip her shoulders, bending low so she can’t escape my gaze. “Baby, you’re worth everything. Everything Ido—”
“Tommy, don’t say it.”
My heart claws at my ribs. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. The real you. The guy who had a special smile just for me and no one else. This polished fake version of you, the one you’ve cultivated, it’s fine when we’re around other people. But that’s the you I see most of the time now, and I just don’t…I don’t recognize you anymore.”
“Giovanna, tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this.” People are maneuvering around us as they navigate the steps, but I can’t take my eyes off of her.
She drops her gaze to the ground, and when she looks up, her hazel eyes are a cloudy green that I’ve never seen before. “I’m sorry, Tommy. Please just let me go.”
I don’t know if she means to let go of her shoulders or let go of her entirely, but when I shake my head and don’t do either, she pries my fingers off and climbs the steps without me.
Blood is rushing in my ears so loudly that I can’t hear. Everything is blurry, and I can’t think. Did my girl just end us?
I climb a few steps weakly, then turn and look out over the traffic on the street. I don’t know how long I’m there before I feel a hand on my shoulder. Matti is looking at me with concern, and Vin stands behind him with a drink in hand.
“You alright?” Matti asks carefully. I don’t know what he sees on my face, but it must not ease his concern. “I saw Giovanna.”
Fuck, this is real. I can barely breathe. Vin throws a heavy arm around my neck and yanks me into his side. “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink. Or five. Step one to getting over a woman.”
Matti groans. “Maybe we should take him up to his suite. Step one may not be suitable for public consumption. I know your ‘step two’ won’t be.”
Vin pulls me toward the doors. “Come on. Whiskey is in here.”
I don’t know what to do except follow them in, so I do. It’s warm inside, and people greet me. I think Matti and Vin cover for me, saying hello, as they pull me toward the bar. But I’m only looking for her. She’s over by her parents, talking. Her mother catches my eye, giving me a small, sad smile. Her father is beaming. I guess she’s spreading the word.
At the bar, Vin snaps his fingers at the bartender. “Give me a bottle of Whistle Pig Boss Hog Edition 6 and three glasses.”
“The Samurai Scientist Straight Rye?” When Vin nods, the bartender pulls three glasses and sets them with the bottle on the bar in front of us.
Vin pours a finger of liquor into each of the glasses. He and Matti take one, flanking me on either side, and turn to look out over the crowd while I lean on the bar, unable to do anything but replay Giovanna’s words in my head over and over.
“Fuck,” Matti mutters, and Vin swallows the rest of his whiskey and turns back around, slamming his glass on the bar.
I start at the noise and see Giovanna over Vin’s shoulder. She’s a few feet away at the other end of the bar. She won’t look at me. I start to move toward her, but Vin blocks me and Matti pulls me back.
