Page 63 of A Lady of Means
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Devyn knewthe moment that something had gone amiss.
He could see it in her eyes before the words fell out, she was spoiling for a fight.
Moria didn’t say goodbyes to the others as they left, instead telling them all she was tired, until Devyn was the last to come bid her goodnight.He wrapped his arms about her and leaned in to kiss her.
She didn’t say anything, she took his hand and pulled him up the stairs to her room.He was as quiet as he could possibly be at six-foot-three and the size of a door.But she was squeezing on his hand, towing him down the carpeted hall while her glowering ancestors looked down on him in portraiture, finding him wanting.
When they made it to her room, the pinkest room he’d ever seen in his goddamned life, she closed the door.She took two steps, pressing him up against it.For a woman of her size, she was surprisingly formidable.
“When were you going to tell me?”she whirled on him.
“When was I going to tell you what, Moria?”He willed his voice to sound gentle.
She let out an angry little huff and crossed her arms over her chest.“That your brother isn’t the heir, you are.He’s your father’s bastard.He’sthe spare,notyou.”
The floor dropped out from beneath him.
He was going to murder Peregrine.He’d wanted to tell the woman he loved all about his family history, he just…actually, there was no excuse, he should have fucking told her already.
When?
He didn’t know honestly, but before now.He’d wanted to show her he was better than all the other men she’d known, but maybe he wasn’t.
“He told you.Earlier when you walked him out.”
“I’m glad someone apprised me of the truth,” she said, her jaw set.
He’d gotten so far, knocked down so many of her walls, heard her sayI love you, and now she was looking at him like an enemy.He fucking hated it.
“It doesn’t change anything.”He shook his head, letting her step backward.
Her mouth was agog, then she closed it, flaring her nostrils, and opened it again.
“I don’t see how!”
She was angry with him.Good, that meant she still cared.Hadn’t shut him out completely.Not yet at least.
He took a step closer to her, closer than he’d meant.But he was trying desperately to pull the ground back beneath their feet.God, she was so close he could easily kiss her.
“No.It wouldn’t,” he could see she was waiting for an answer, so he sat on the edge of her bed, pulling her to stand between his legs.He held her hands in his as she looked down at him, listening to him explain.
“My father raised Peregrine to be the heir, he was the heir for almost a decade before I came along.My father pushed me to take it all away from Peregrine, for us to be in competition for every scrap of paternal pride and affection, every material possession.He dangled them in front of us, asking us to carry out increasingly awful tasks to get them.If I failed, well I bear the scars of that,” he gestured to his inked torso covered by his shirt.“Most of them I covered up with tattoos.Some of the blows I took were for Peregrine.Even though I was younger, I was bigger, stronger.”
He watched her lip wobble at his admission, taking it between her teeth.Devyn ran a hand through his hair and blew some air out of his mouth to keep talking instead of kissing her.
“But when I became a man, I realized something.I was better suited to soldiering, and Peregrine is tailored for land management and shaking hands in Parliament sessions.A soldier is all I’ve ever been.That’sallI know how to do.And I’m damn good at it?—”
“You’re lying to yourself,” she said, a hand coming to rest against his stubbled cheek when he thought maybe he’d better deserved a slap.He leaned into the softness of her hand and closed his eyes.
“You are more than a soldier, Devyn.You,” she poked him in the chest with the pointer finger of her other hand for emphasis, “Are not a spare anything.You’re honorable, and just, and a man that people look up to.Your men put their careers on the line for you.In any way that counts, you’re just as fine a man as your brother is and just as noble.”
Devyn’s heart swelled with pride at the words.To hear such words from her lips made him hold her tighter.His fingers dug into her waist.
“To hear you say that, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.But Peregrine’s whole life is Parliament, his causes.He does more good for the working class than I even know about.The work he does-”
“Is accomplished more easily with his influence but he would still accomplish it with yours.”
