Page 93 of Stolen Kisses
Krista looked at the cans on the counter. “My mom always made me some when I was sick as a kid.”
“Well, mine’s not homemade obviously. This is what Dad gave me when I felt bad growing up.”
Maybe that was the reason Noah would never be in a long-term relationship. He hadn’t grown up with a mother. His brothers hadn’t either, but Noah was the youngest. He’d never even been held by his mother. That had to leave the spirit unsettled. Maybe he didn’t know how to anchor himself. Krista’s heart ached for him and the boy he’d been. “Thanks for the soup,” she said, her throat constricting so tight she could only manage shallow breaths.
“Are you still feeling bad?” he asked, his expression straining with concern.
She must’ve looked awful. “A little bit.”
“You know I would’ve taken you home last night.” He stepped closer and ran a calloused hand down the side of her bare arm. Shivers raced down the invisible track he’d left, sending aftershocks through the rest of her. “I want to take care of you when you’re sick,” he said in a low voice.
She looked at him, met his brown eyes and hated that she couldn’t spend forever looking into them. But she couldn’t. She knew that as a fact now. Not if she wanted to have a real relationship complete with marriage and children and old age sitting in rocking chairs and holding hands. She wasn’t sure if she was pregnant or not, but either way, this was definitely her wake-up call. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but Joey didn’t mind. And I didn’t want to pull you from your brother’s wedding.” She slid back from Noah’s touch and his expression changed from concern to worry. His blond brows lowered, pinching the skin between his eyes.
Krista sucked in a shallow breath, closed her eyes for a second, and forced herself to speak. “Noah, we need to talk.”
—
A chill coursed up Noah’s spine. He didn’t like the sound of “we need to talk.” He also didn’t like the look on Krista’s face right now. He had the sudden impulse to turn and walk right out of her townhouse before she said anything more. She was sick after all. Possibly running a fever and delusional.
Krista gestured toward the couch.
“I don’t need to sit,” he said, his jaw so tight it physically hurt.
“I do.” She passed by him, sat down, and waited for him to follow.
He hesitated, but finally walked over and sat down next to her, leaving a few inches between them because he sensed that was what she needed. “What’s going on? Did I do something?” he asked.
Her eyes immediately welled with tears. She shook her head. “No. No, you didn’t do anything. But we never should have started this. We both know it’s not a good idea.”
“I don’t know that. In fact, I know that’s not true at all.” He realized his voice sounded angry, but hewasa little angry. Not at Krista, of course, but this wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to come in here and tell Krista that he loved her. That he wanted to keep taking steps forward. That’s what he’d wanted to tell her last night before she’d disappeared on him.
“We want different things.” She pressed her lips together. He noticed the slight tremble as she did.
“Something happened at the wedding. What? Just tell me what it was and I’ll fix it.” A little light beaconed in the dark cloud suddenly hanging over him.
“Noah, you can’t fix this. I just realized that you’re never going to want the same things that I want. It isn’t who you are, and I can’t change that. We’re just wasting time together, and I don’t want to waste any more time. I can’t.”
“But what if I told you I do want the same things?” he asked, a little hurt pressing in on him at the thought that Krista viewed dating him as a waste of time. He reached for her hands and held them in his own.
“Noah, I saw how you reacted the other day, after the condom broke. You couldn’t even look at me. You hated the idea of us getting pregnant together.”
He shook his head, even though he couldn’t deny that he’d been a little terrified at the moment. “Having a child is something people plan. A broken condom is a mistake.”
“A child is never a mistake,” Krista snapped.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. I just mean, going into parenthood isn’t something you take lightly. And yeah, the prospect is scary. I’ll admit that.”
Krista’s lower lip trembled some more. “I would be okay if we were to get pregnant right now. I wouldn’t even think twice about it because I’m ready. I want a baby. I have all the love in the world to give one. You can say you’re ready, too, Noah, but I saw the look in your eyes the other day. I felt how you pulled away from me after the condom broke. You didn’t touch me for over a week afterward. You don’t think I know why? It’s because you’re scared of committing yourself to me.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I’ve been committed to you since the day we met, Kris. It’s always been you.”
Tears flooded her eyes. “It’s just not going to work between us, Noah. And I don’t…I don’t want to prolong this. For either of us.”
He pulled his hands away. He felt like someone had placed him in a meat compactor. Everything down to his bones was crushed. Pain seared through his chest, straight into his deflated heart. “It was working just fine between us, Kris. What happened?”
“I’m sorry, Noah, but I need more than what you’ll ever be able to give me.”
He met Krista’s tear-soaked eyes, wanting to argue with her. He’d give her the moon if that was what she needed. But she was right. He’d reacted badly after the condom broke, and he was ashamed of it. Maybe he was still that kid who was voted least likely to succeed. The one who’d left his girlfriend and college because he was terrified of being weighed down by the commitment.
