Page 49 of Welcome Home, Cowboy
“Stop backtracking, Lawson. You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. And I’m not going to turn into Mel. You don’t have to worry about me. I just got out of a serious relationship, so I’m not looking for another commitment.”
“I see.” He looked over. “Who is it exactly that you’re getting out of a serious relationship with?” Because he’d been wanting to meet that guy in a dark alley alone for a few weeks now. It was obvious the guy was bad news.
Her smile faltered. “My ex in Charlotte. Daren.”
“How long were you together?” he asked.
“Three years.”
“Geez.” He’d never had a relationship that had even lasted one year. “Do you mind telling me what happened?”
She stared into her coffee, the look on her face making it clear that she didn’t enjoy revisiting the memories. “Daren was a great guy when we first started dating.” Her eyes slid sideways to meet his gaze momentarily. “He was my boss at the gym where I worked. He gave me the job and I was grateful. Then he started giving me more responsibility. I was honored at first. And when he asked me out, I was flattered. It was good between us for a while.” She shrugged.
“So what changed?” Lawson asked.
“He started working out obsessively for a weight-lifting competition in Charlotte. He and several of the gym’s members were really serious about it. Turns out his muscles weren’t just coming from his extra reps with the barbells.”
“Drugs?” Lawson asked. He’d known guys in the past who’d done the same. You couldn’t get away with it in the Corps, but he’d had classmates in high school who’d experimented with things to get ripped.
“Steroids,” Julie confirmed, nodding. “His whole demeanor started to change. He wasn’t the sweet boyfriend who brought me flowers for no good reason anymore. Suddenly he was angry and possessive. I didn’t know what was going on at first. He’d criticize what I wore and tell me to change. He started ordering for me at restaurants. If another guy so much as looked at me, Daren would fly off the handle. And it was always my fault.” She pulled her knees toward her chest as she sat, guarding herself as she confided in him. “I finally realized just how pathetic I had gotten when he vetoed the cake I had chosen for my birthday dinner with friends last year. It was my birthday. I wanted chocolate cake.”
“What woman doesn’t want chocolate on her birthday?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood. He didn’t want her to stop talking. He suddenly wanted to know more about the woman in front of him.
“Right. He decided we should have yellow cake. He also ordered my dinner that night. And the wine. We went back to his house afterward, even though I wanted to go dancing with the others. And we had, um…” Her cheeks darkened.
“Sex,” Lawson supplied, hating this guy she’d dated.
Julie nodded. “But it had been the way he’d wanted it. It was about his pleasure and not mine. And it was my birthday, damn it. Mine, not his.” Her voice grew louder as she spoke.
“Sounds like a royal asshole.”
Julie smiled at this. “He was. At least that’s what he became. I’d known it was time to leave for a long time, but I hadn’t done it. I’d lost myself to him and his stupid steroids. So I woke up early the morning after my birthday and started packing. I left before he even woke up.”
Lawson looked at her now. “You didn’t break up with him first?”
“I left a note,” she said, pulling her lower lip into her mouth and avoiding his gaze. “I knew if I actually talked to him he’d just control me more. And obviously I can’t stand up to him. If I could I would have had chocolate cake on my twenty-ninth birthday and gone dancing.” She shook her head. “He was just mean. I don’t know what I ever saw in him.”
“And he hasn’t tried to mess with you since you came here?”
Julie looked away. “He’s called. Left me messages. He doesn’t know where I am for sure. He called my mom and she told him she thought I’d gone to the West Coast to visit a friend….I think he just calls every now and then to remind me how weak I still am. And that really pisses me off.” She lifted her eyes to look at him.
“You’re anything but weak, Julie. From where I stand, you’re pretty damn strong. You whipped me into shape, after all. It sounds like he’s just a dick. A really small one.”
Julie laughed. “Yeah. It’s not just about Daren or my birthday and the cake. I realized that night that my life wasn’t what I wanted it to be. He wasn’t who I wanted to be with. I didn’t love him. I didn’t love anything about my day to day, either. I was homesick.”
“I’d say leaving was the brave thing to do.”
“Thank you.”
“And I’m honored to be the guy you trust yourself with after all that. Some might call me your rebound guy. I’m fine with that if that’s what you need,” he said, setting his coffee mug on the nightstand and pulling hers from her hand. Then he kissed her, long and hard. She’d taken some of the pressure off by telling him about her past. But she’d also made him wish that he was ready to offer more.
He couldn’t right now, though. So instead, he’d give her what he could: a night that rivaled all others. He wouldn’t stay the night, of course. For more reasons than he cared to count, one of which being that sleeping for him these days always ended in a cold sweat. He wasn’t ready to explain that to anyone right now, even if Julie had just entrusted him with all of her secrets.
Chapter 14
Julie had noticed at some point in the night that Lawson was no longer beside her. He’d quietly gotten his things and left. Which was fine. They’d agreed to nothing. This thing between them was nothing. But it sure had made waking up this morning easier, considering what had happened last night in yoga class.
Julie flinched at the memory. Disaster. She just hoped Mr. Banks wasn’t seriously hurt. She knew he’d had a heart issue a month or so back. Hopefully she hadn’t killed him. Forcing herself to get up, she padded down the hall to turn on the coffeepot. Then she showered and dressed. She had to get to Beth’s to take care of Sabrina. They were catching bugs this morning. Julie had been able to put Sabrina off on this one thing for a while, but now Sabrina was adamant. They needed to catch ladybugs, roly-polies, and earthworms. Julie cringed. The bright side to the activity was that walking around the yard was bound to wear Sabrina out. And after last night, Julie really needed Sabrina to nap today.
