Page 95 of Welcome Home, Cowboy
“What? Wait, what are you doing?” Julie’s heart started hammering. Beth couldn’t just leave her here. Sure, she could probably get back on her own, but she was still an amateur at horseback riding.
Beth picked up her pace on Bon-Bon as she headed back down the path.
“Beth?” Julie called, looking over her shoulder. Her horse was still facing the field and she wasn’t sure she knew how to turn Jax around to follow suit. “Beth!”
“Julie,” a deep voice said in front of her.
It was muffled through her helmet, but she recognized it immediately. Her heart, her breath, everything froze. Slowly she turned to face him.
She didn’t want to love this man, butoh God, she did.She loved him so much that it hurt to think about him, to hear his name, to look at him. Lifting her chin, she narrowed her eyes, hoping her expression didn’t betray her. “Lawson, what are you doing here?”
He walked around to the side of her horse and reached up to help her dismount. She didn’t want to slip her hand in his.But she did want to.As he helped her down, she found herself standing close to him. So close she could smell him, could lean in and press her ear to his heart if she wanted.
I don’t love you, Julie.
She took a step backward instead.
“Wait here a minute.” Lawson grabbed Jax’s reins and led him to a nearby tree, securing him there. Julie watched and waited, wondering what would happen next. Next, he walked over to her and removed her helmet, his gaze latched on hers as he moved. She saw warmth there. Wanted to see love, but she was evidently bad at reading men.
Then he reached out his hand to her.
Her heart galloped like a runaway mare, wild and free. She couldn’t catch it if she wanted to. This man had stolen her heart over the last few months and she doubted now she’d ever rein it in.
He’d also broken her heart into a million little pieces that she doubted she’d ever reassemble, she reminded herself.
“Come with me,” he said, still holding his hand out to her.
He was wearing his cowboy hat, as always. The first time he’d brought her here, he’d placed his hat on her head. She’d kissed him that day, and fallen a little bit in love.
“I need to show you something,” he said. “Please.”
Against her better judgment, following her unruly heart, Julie slipped her hand in his. “Okay.” She let him lead her into the middle of the field. Breathing in the fresh air, she lifted her gaze to the sinking sun that gave way to an ambient light. It was beautiful, the perfect place for two lovers.
But Lawson didn’t love her back.
When they were standing in middle field, he turned and faced her, still holding tightly to her hand. “You changed my life over the past few months. I’ll never be the same because of you.”
She shook her head, not understanding. “Why am I here?”
“You’ve shown me your moves. Now I have some of my own yoga moves I need to show you.” He dropped her hand and stepped back, keeping his gaze sharp on her. Standing tall, he dug both of his hands into the middle of his chest. “This is the Me position. I’ve been one big jerk.”
Julie swallowed.
He moved his right hand over his chest. “This is the Heart pose. Mine is lost without you, Julie. I lied when I told you I didn’t love you. I was a fool and thought you’d be better off without me.”
“You could’ve let me decide that,” she whispered, fighting back her tears. He’d hurt her when he’d taken back his love. It still hurt to think about that night.
“You’re right. Julie, I love you. There’s no stopping that, not even if I wanted to. And I don’t want to.”
Her body trembled as she listened.
Then he dropped to his knees in front of her. “This is the Please-Forgive-This-Stupid-Jerk pose. I plan on holding it for as long as it takes.”
“For what?” she asked, lifting her chin and wishing she wasn’t hanging on his every word.
“For you to say that you forgive me. This is a tandem pose. Forgiveness takes two people. One to ask and the other to say they will. I’m so sorry I hurt you, Julie.”
She took a long breath. “Lawson, you’re only doing this because you’re staying. If you were still leaving, you wouldn’t be taking me with you. I never mattered to you enough.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. She couldn’t hold them back anymore.
