Page 80 of Welcome Home, Cowboy
Lawson nodded. “Let’s do this,” he said, really meaningLet’s get this over with.
Today was a training exercise. They’d be flying over the wide expanse of the Corps’ property, and landing in an opening between the bordering pines. Then they’d be flying back to camp. All in the span of a couple of hours.
This was a test. To see if he was able to stay at his current duty station. Or if it was time for him to be asked in a not-so-optional way to be an instructor to the young, up-and-coming pilots with dreams as big as the ones he’d once fostered. Well, screw that. He still had those dreams.
Commander Oakes stepped out of an office. “I’m going with you,” he said.
Probably in case Lawson freaked out in the cockpit.Fair enough.
“Yes, sir.”
Five men walked alongside him. None of them had gone down in one of these aircrafts. Their hearts weren’t beating in triple count to their march right now. But Lawson’s was.
He took a breath and held it, expanding his chest the way Julie had taught him. Just one boot in front of the other, he told himself. One boot in front of the other.
The roar of the engine got impossibly louder as he approached. That was just his nerves, though. He took another calming breath, trying to focus on something other than the aircraft, or on Commander Oakes watching him.
He took a few more steps and entered the Huey. His world suddenly shrank from the wide open outdoors to a small metal compartment just big enough to seat a crew. The faces from his last flight crossed his memory.
One boot in front of the other.
He sat inside the cockpit—ready to fly. At least he hoped so.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Commander Oakes asked, sitting also.
“We’re going up today. The training exercise.”
“You’re not ready. I can see it on your face, in your walk. I saw it before you even left that building over there, Captain.”
“Don’t worry about me, sir,” Lawson said.
Commander Oakes shook his head. “I’m worried about the crew members who’ll be flying with you. I have to be one hundred percent certain that you’re ready. And I don’t believe you are.” He stood stiffly.
“Commander, please.” Lawson turned to him. “I am ready. I just need to push through this.”
“I think it’s time we figure out what’s next for you, Captain Phillips. See me in my office on Friday morning at zero seven hundred. We’ll talk at that time.”
Lawson’s throat burned as the acid rose up. He noticed that he was shaking now, too. Had his commander seen that?
Fuck.
He’d walked inside the Huey and sat down. That was progress. Progress wasn’t good enough, though, and his time was evidently up. Time to move on. Commander Oakes meant in his career, but Lawson would be moving on from a lot more than flying helicopters, and that realization made him sick.
—
There’d been no text messages. Or lunchtime calls. Those were Lawson’s usual communication during the day. Sometimes he came to the house and had lunch with her and Sabrina. Not today.
Where is he?
Julie grabbed her phone and tapped in a text.
Everything okay?
She waited, glancing over at Sabrina, who was napping on the couch.
A second later, her phone buzzed in her hand. Reading the screen, she frowned. Not Lawson. Beth’s picture appeared in the corner of the screen.
Running five minutes late.
