Page 2 of Through the Snow Globe
He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. I’m sure there’s a lot of pressure when someone pops the big question. Maybe you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
Guilt consumed Diana. She hated that he would even question her sincerity. “I would never say yes if I didn’t mean it, Linus. It’s just . . .” She trailed off because she didn’t have a good reason for delaying things. Not one he would understand, at least. He didn’t know what it was like to grow up, abandoned by both parents and raised by a grandmother who didn’t seem to want her either. Diana had issues, and she was the first to admit it. “What’s the hurry?” she finally asked.
Linus’s lips set in a straight line. “My grandfather used to say that forever is a myth. All we have is this moment.” His eyes searched hers. “That’sthe hurry.”
“Well, surely we have at least one more tomorrow,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t work for either of them, though. She was anxious and defensive, and Linus seemed deflated. The hurt feelings over her teenage patient calling her an Elsa were irrelevant now because she’d hurt Linus, which was the last thing she’d ever want to do. Maybe she truly was an ice queen.
Linus stepped back, pulling his arms down to his side. “Some part of me regrets asking you to marry me,” he said, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him.
“What?” Diana pressed a hand to her chest, reminding herself to breathe. Surely he didn’t mean that. Did he?
“Not because I don’t love you.” He offered a humorless laugh. “The truth is, I love you so much I can hardly take a breath when I think about it. You’re everything I ever wanted. And more. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”
Tears burned in her eyes. She could feel thebuttrailing silently behind his sweet words. She waited, bracing herself. When he remained quiet, she prodded. “But?”
Linus shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe I moved too fast. Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe you still aren’t,” he said.
Diana didn’t make a habit out of crying in front of people. Not even Linus. Her grandmother, Denny, had taught her to hold her emotions at bay until she was alone. Denny hadn’t been as poetic with her words as Linus’s grandfather, but she’d given out hard truths to help Diana survive the real world, which Denny had painted to be cruel and unforgiving. Diana had experienced a little bit of that, of course, but her world had been so much nicer since Linus had come into it. He made life seem magical in a way she’d never experienced. “All this because I asked you if I was an Elsa?”
“All this because I’ve been trying to talk to you about the wedding for weeks and there’s never been a good time.” He sighed wearily. “It’s still not a good time. We should talk about this tomorrow, after your interview, when we’re both clear-minded.”
“Talk about what, exactly?” she asked, still working hard to hold in her tears.
“The wedding. And if there’s going to be one this Christmas.”
Theifmade her stiffen and she wondered if he meant more than he was saying. Maybe he wanted to discuss if there’d be a wedding at all. Maybe he truly did regret proposing.
Linus offered a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Then he placed the folded tie he was holding on the edge of their bed, turned, and left the room.
Diana finally gave herself permission to let the tears stream down her cheeks. She climbed into bed and laid her head on her pillow, wiping her eyes futilely. Then she gave up and let the tears fall.
An hour later, she listened to the sound of Linus’s breathing in the bed beside her. She’d pretended to be asleep when he’d returned to their room. She hadn’t known what to say. An apology was probably in order, but from her or him? They’d both said regrettable things. This whole night had been a mess. The only bright side she could see was that tomorrow could only go up from here.
She twisted the diamond engagement ring on her finger while her thoughts ran laps in her brain.This is silly. We love each other.“Linus?” she finally whispered. “Linus, are you awake?”
His breathing continued, slow and steady.
She rolled to her opposite side, her eyes trying to focus in the dark. The shadow of his chest lifted and dropped steadily. “Linus?”
No answer. He was asleep, and once Linus was out, he was gone to the world. She’d just have to wait and smooth things over with him tomorrow. She didn’t want him to think she regretted saying yes to his proposal. The only regret she had right now was going to bed angry. And asking Linus if she was an Elsa, like Addy had said. She regretted that too.
A No Good, Exceptionally Bad Day
December 4th
“Wake up, sleepy girl.”
Diana blinked Linus’s face into focus. “Already?”
“Afraid so.” He was in his usual cheerful mood for early morning. The man had a spring in his step as soon as he got up, excited about each new day. It was one of the things that she loved about him, but at times she also found the quality annoying.
Diana slid an arm over her eyes to block the light as memories of last night filtered into her mind.
“How about we trim the tree tonight?” Linus said with no trace of frustration with her, despite going to bed upset.
“The tree?” she repeated, trying to will her eyelids open. Unlike him, she was not a morning person.
“You know, the tall green thing in the corner of our living room. We dragged it home from the lot last weekend?”
