Page 18 of The Christmas Keepsake
“Mm. When I was younger, I wanted to be a star.” Nan finished peeing but continued to sit on the toilet. “I just loved the spotlight. I loved to pull on a character like it was a piece of clothing and wear it. Then when my role was over, I’d slip it off before I laid my head on the pillow that night.”
Mallory turned to face Nan. “You remember?”
“It’s all I ever wanted until I met him.” Nan reached for Mallory’s arm as Mallory helped her stand. Then Mallory helped her pull her pants back up around her waist. There was a clear look in Nan’s blue eyes as Mallory waited for more.
“Until you met who, Grandma? Who?”
Nan blinked. “What did you call me?”
Mallory shook her head. “Until you met who, Nan?” she pressed.
Nan’s brow line lowered, and the blue shade of her eyes darkened to a stormy gray. She started pushing her walker forward, nearly knocking Mallory over as she worked to get out of the small enclosed area.
Oh no.Mallory had seen this happen to Nan many times before. The smallest things agitated her.
“You were talking about wanting to be a movie star,” Mallory went on, trying to bring Nan back to the version of herself she’d been just moments before.
“Not a movie star!” Nan snapped. “You don’t know me. If you knew me, you’d know I didn’t want to be in the movies. I wanted to be onstage. On Broadway.” She lifted her walker and banged it on the floor as she turned and backed up to the edge of her bed. “I want you to leave,” she said quietly.
“Nan.” Mallory felt like the air had been knocked out of her. “Nan, I’d like to stay a while longer. I brought something to show you.” Mallory started to reach for the bag with the two Christmas ornaments inside.
“Leave!” Nan demanded with more force. “Leave! Leave! Leavvvvve!” she screamed angrily.
One of the nurses stepped inside Nan’s room and looked between Nan and Mallory. “Everything all right?”
“No!” Nan yelled. “I want this woman out of my room. Now!”
The nurse looked at Mallory apologetically. “I’m sorry but…”
Mallory stood and nodded, collecting her scarf and bag but leaving the bag of ornaments. “I understand. I’m going.” She looked at Nan, desperately wanting to bend and kiss her temple. But, in recent days, Nan had been known to swat a person who got in her space. “I’m going.”
Mallory held back her tears as she slipped out of Nan’s room, takingslow, deep breaths and reminding herself that Nan, her Nan, didn’t mean any of those things. Her Nan would never speak to her that way.
“Everything okay?” Francis asked as Mallory passed the front desk, her expression revealing that she already knew the answer.
Mallory nodded quietly, fearing that allowing herself to speak would open the floodgates of her tears.
“We can wait for the tree trimming until tomorrow,” Francis reassured her.
“Okay.” Mallory turned and headed out of the building. Once she was standing on the pavement, she sucked in the air around her as if it were life. Part of her wanted to continue past her car and go for a nice, long walk to clear her thoughts. She had things to do though. Rehearsals started tonight.
As if on cue with that thought, her cell phone pinged with an incoming text. Mallory welcomed the distraction until she opened the messages and read.
It was from Adam Barclay, the long-running actor who played Santa for the community theater’s production.
Adam:Sorry, Mal. I really am. But I can’t play Santa this year.
Mallory’s already aching heart felt like an earthquake had hit, cracking it right down the middle. She clutched the phone, hand shaking.
Adam:Times are tough and I need a second job that pays. I know Nan would understand. I hope you do as well.
Mallory’s first instinct was to say, “No, she didn’t understand.” Here she was, working her full-time job and extra shifts but still planning to direct this entire production. That was because Nan was her family though. Adam did not owe Nan anything—not the way Mallory did.
On a sigh, she tapped out a text as tears welled and blurred her vision.
Mallory:Of course, I understand, Adam. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.
Nan was ever understanding. The play rehearsals began tonight though. Santa was the most important character, and the understudyfor the role had moved in the past year. “What on earth am I going to do?” Mallory said out loud, standing in the middle of the parking lot.
