Page 24 of The Christmas Keepsake
“Nan isn’t the director. You are,” he said, his eyes glinting in the dim light.
Mallory felt another unwanted flutter. “Right… Then be my Santa.”
Mallory’s body felt restless later that night as she tried to fall asleep. She had too much weighing on her mind. Between the play and her excitement over decorating the tree for Memory Oaks, her brain was still buzzing. Also, she could still smell Hollis’s cologne. It wasn’t as if they’d even touched, but his scent was on her skin, making it impossible to get him off her mind.
She’d always found Hollis to be a handsome guy, but she wondered if her preoccupation with him tonight was more because she was lonely. Usually after getting off a shift at the hospital andvisiting Nan, she was so tired once she got home that she fell asleep on the couch some nights. And when she awoke, she went through her rushed morning routine that led her back to the hospital, Memory Oaks, and home. Her days were on autopilot.
Rolling onto her side, Mallory exhaled softly and tried to get comfortable but only ended up shifting and squirming until she sat up and turned on her nightstand lamp, illuminating Nan’s journal on the table. Mallory pulled it to her lap and opened it. She had read only two entries so far.The Santa Hat Tree TopperandThe Wildflower Ornament. She’d hoped to read that second entry to Nan, but Nan couldn’t control her good days any more than Mallory could. Maybe Nan’s recollection of theSanta Hat Tree Topperwas just a fluke. Maybe the rest of the ornaments wouldn’t refresh Nan’s memory.
Mallory blinked the sleep out of her eyes as she settled in to read the next entry. She was tempted to devour Nan’s entire journal in one sitting, but Nan had specifically requested that Mallory read only one entry at a time and hang one ornament at a time as she created the Memory Tree.
“Getting to know someone doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey,”Nan had said last Christmas.
“I already know you, Grandma.”Mallory placed a hand over Nan’s at the time.
“You know Nan, the grandmother.”Nan gave her a steady look.“A person, like an actor, plays a lot of roles in their life. I want you to remember me, all of me, even when I can’t.”
Mallory nervously turned to the page she’d left off on. There must be a reason why Nan had kept some details of her life hidden. There was always a reason for keeping secrets, and from Mallory’s experience, none of them were good. Using her pointer finger, she kept her place as she read the story behind the next ornament.
The Butterfly Barrette Ornament
Locate the small box wrapped in silver paper adorned with sapphire blue ribbon. The tag will have the number 3 written on it. Inside you’ll find the Butterfly Barrette Ornament. I use the termornamentloosely because you’ll easily see that it’s really a hair barrette with a beautiful silver-and-white braided rope fastened into the metal clip. Hang it with care, the third keepsake on your tree. Hang it on a branch that best catches the light in the room.
Here’s the story behind it.
After that Christmas, Ralph and I were inseparable. We went everywhere together and everyone in town knew we were in love. I was a mere seventeen years old, dreaming of heading to try my hand at Broadway. Ralph and I never discussed it. I knew he had no intention of ever leaving Bloom, but Ralph always said he wouldn’t hold me back. For Valentine’s, he gave me a beautiful jeweled butterfly barrette, almost too gorgeous to wear in my hair. The colors were mesmerizing.
“I love the gift.” We were sitting in his car and I recall worrying because he seemed suddenly serious.
Then he turned and looked at me. “The barrette isn’t the gift. The gift is the message.” He was quiet for a long time, which wasn’t like him at all. “Nan, when it’s time, don’t say good-bye. Don’t feel guilty, don’t second-guess yourself, and don’t look back. Just spread your wings and go. Fly like you were born to do.”
Tears flowed down my cheeks because it was a gift. I didn’t want to be the villain by breaking his heart. I didn’t want to leave and maybe I wouldn’t have been ableto if he hadn’t given me this beautiful gift. He released me to follow my dream.
So that’s what I did.
The morning after graduation, I got up and packed my car. My eyes were so blurred with tears that I’m surprised I even made it to New York. I missed Ralph so much, but I kept myself busy, working as a waitress and going to every audition I could. It didn’t even take long to land a part. My first big break. It seemed like fate. The total elation that I always envisioned would consume me, however, never came. All I felt was an immense pressure. The spirit of competitiveness was strong, and I’m pretty sure my understudy hated me.
I also felt sick. It was more than nervous butterflies. Between scenes, I’d run to the bathroom and throw up.
I thought it was just a stomach virus. Or the old take-out food I’d eaten for breakfast. Then I started to wonder if this sickness that wouldn’t go away was something more life-altering. My clothes felt snug. The costumes I was fitted for would no longer fasten and I had to use a rubber band looped through the buttonhole to attach to the button. Desperate times, desperate measures.
Deep down, I knew the truth. Standing at a crossroads, I had a secret that I was carrying alone. I had a decision to make that would determine the rest of my life—and less than seven months to make it.
Chapter Eight
If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I, an artist, will answer you: I am here to live out loud.
—Émile Zola
Hollis opened the crate door and squatted to greet Buster. “Hey, buddy. How’re you doing?”
Buster gave a soft wag, his eyes bright and calm.
After attaching the leash, Hollis led Buster through the back door and trudged through the snow-dusted Christmas tree farm. As Hollis had taught Buster over the past weeks, the dog trotted obediently by his side. The crisp winter air nipped at Hollis’s cheeks, but he hardly noticed, his attention laser-focused on the dog beside him. Hollis had been working on walking with Buster on a leash in the yard and on the farm, but today, Hollis paused in a small clearing. It was time.
Bending, Hollis unclipped Buster’s leash, his heart racing with a mixture of excitement and apprehension. What if Buster darted off and didn’t return? Hopefully the time they’d spent training was enough for the dog to see him as alpha.
Hollis straightened back to a standing position.
