Page 34 of Sweet Vengeance
He sighs. “This is the most you’ve ever talked to me without being pissed at me, and it’s about threesomes? I guess I should take advantage when my kitten puts his claws away. I’ve never kissed Rory. I haven’t jerked him off or anything like that. I’ve seen every part of his body, and there’s been times when our hands or bodies have brushed together, but that’s it. I would never have sex with Rory, but I like to have sex with Rory and someone else. It makes me feel close to him, and I don’t want that because I’m in love with him or have feelings for him. It’s just because that’s who we are. I like that connection with him.”
That sounds like he’s got some kind of feelings for Rory, but I don’t tell him that. It does make my skin prickle in a way I’m unfamiliar with, though. What is it…jealousy…? And maybe something more. Curiosity? I would never have the courage to do something like that. Hell, I’ve never even had sex fully with anyone at all.
“Why do you ask? Do you want to have sex with me and Rory together? He would be down. Honestly, I kind of wanted you to myself—at least the first time—but I would be willing to have you with him if that’s what you want.”
A five-alarm fire burns up my skin. My face is so hot, I feel like it could pop. “Oh my God. No! I don’t want to have sex with you and Rory. I don’t think I could handle that for my first time.” Wait…why did I just say that? Come to think of it, why does my brain feel cloudy? I’m pretty sure the pain meds are giving me loose lips.
He frowns, and it takes me a moment to realize he’s not touching the ice anymore…no, his warm hand is on me, the tips of his fingers lightly dancing over my bare skin. “You’re a virgin?”
“You don’t have to say it like it’s a bad word.” I turn my head away.
“I’m not. I’m just surprised. And maybe feeling a little guiltier about telling you I want to fuck you.”
That makes me turn my head back to him. “Why? Believe me, I’d rather not be a virgin. I’m just not the type of guy people usually go for.”Shut up, shut up, shut up.I really wish I wasn’t talking.
“You’re the kind of guy I go for.”
“School-obsessed and too skinny?”
“You’re not too skinny. I love your body.” His fingers dance down my stomach and then back up again. “It surprises me how much. I can’t look at you without wanting to tell you how fucking cute you are.”
Cute but not hot.
“Want to know a secret?” he asks, and I nod. “It’s kind of like I’m a virgin.”
“You were just telling me about all the threesomes you’ve had!”
He grins. “Yes, but I’ve never been with a man before.”
“You literally just told me you want to have sex with me.”
“No shit, but last I checked, we haven’t fucked yet, have we?”
The room spins slightly, my insides feeling like I’m on a merry-go-round that’s turning too fast. “If you’re not queer, then why do you want to have sex with me?”
“Clearly, Iamqueer because I want to have sex with you. I’ve just never met a man I wanted to fuck before, and now I have.”
I gulp. Cillian O’Shea has never been with a guy, and he chooses me? “Are you insane?”
He barks out a laugh. “Because I want to have sex with you? You seriously turn me on, Kitten. A lot of it is that attitude of yours.”
Up and down, up and down, he keeps touching me, making me tremble, making warmth spread to my groin, and my cock begins to grow.
Oh God. I cannotget hard right now. I would die.
“But if we do, if that ever happens for us, it would only be sex. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do love.”
This time, it’s my turn to laugh. “How can you say that?I don’t do love.No one plans to fall in love. They just do. I’m not saying I would fall in love with you, but you can’t just say love is something youdon’t do.”
“It’s something I won’tallowmyself to do.” And for the first time, it’s Cillian who looks away, Cillian who has something else in his voice that tells me this is a big deal to him. That he’s been hurt.
“Why?”
“Daddy issues. Why else? Now we’re done talking about me. You haven’t fucked, but what have you done?”
My face heats again. I’ve never blushed so much in my life.
There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to tell him. That wants to end this conversation now and not do…whatever this is I’m doing with Cillian. But there’s another part that wants to share, wants to talk to him, a part of me that feels likemorebecause someone like him would be interested in me.
