Page 40 of Sweet Vengeance
“Sleep on the floor. You can sleep on my bed…with me…only because you’re staying here and protecting me, though.”
“Aw, you’re breaking my heart. I was hoping it’s because you can’t get enough of me.”
“I don’t like you.”
“Sure you don’t.”
“Whatever.” Ollie walks over to the door, double- and triple-checking that it’s locked before letting out a deep breath.
With a sigh, I walk over to him, hook my finger beneath his chin, and tilt his head up. “No one is going to hurt you. I promise.”
His face is smooth. He shaved while he was in the bathroom, and while I like it, I also liked the slight stubble he had before. I wonder what it would feel like against my skin.
“I don’t like to be scared.”
“What do you say I teach you some things? Not right now, but once you’re healed. Some fighting and defensive moves. Rory can help too. He’s smaller, like you. He knows how to be scrappy. He’s actually the best fighter out of all of us.” Rory is shorter than the rest of us, and leaner, but he always comes out on top.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“Look at it as you learning to take care of yourself.”
He nods, and then damned if he doesn’t lick his pink lips. That simple movement goes straight to my cock, and though I just nutted not too long ago, I’m ready to go again.
“Okay,” he says.
“You’re dangerous.”
“What do you mean?”
I pull away. “Nothing. Get into bed.”
I’m surprised when Ollie does as I say. I get the pills and more ice, then turn off the light. There’s a streetlamp right outside his window, a soft yellow glow spilling inside, so I can easily see to walk over to him.
I hand Ollie the pill, which he takes, then climb into bed with him, holding the ice to his ribs despite how fucking cold it is against my hand.
“I’m sorry…” he says, breath warm on my skin. “About your mom…and how your dad treats you. I couldn’t imagine that. My dad is my best friend. I don’t know what I would do without him.”
“Thank you. I’ve got everyone I need, though.”
I won’t ever let myself need anyone else…no matter how much I’m already starting to like him.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Ollie
The past fewdays with Cillian have been interesting, to say the least. He’s this strange mix of mother hen and bossy jerk. Half the time, I don’t know whether to think he’s sweet, an asshole, or totally hot. I mean, the hot thing is always there because it’s impossible to look at Cillian and not be attracted to him—at least for me—but there are times it’s easier to ignore than others, and I’m angry with him while at the same time being confusingly turned on.
It doesn’t help that he’s spent every night in my bed either. I’ve never actually slept in the same bed with a guy before. My sexual experience boils down to messy handjobs and blowjobs with guys I didn’t have any kind of friendship or relationship with. Like, in high school I used to blow the captain of the lacrosse team, but we never talked outside of our hookups. Cillian and I aren’t hooking up, and it would be the stupidest decision I’ve ever made to do that, but again, I’ve felt his nearly naked body in bed with me, he makes no secret of the fact that he wants to have sex with me, and…he’s nice to me.
This man who does terrible things is nice to me and protecting me. It’s hard to make sense of those two conflicting things.
So mostly, I try not to think about it at all, try not to let myself acknowledge that when Cillian slips out of the room, he’s often going to sell drugs, that he has a lot of secrets, hushed phone calls, which I know are about illegal things, and that if I let him, he would literallymurderthe men who hurt me.
And that’s the biggest thing I try not to remember at all—that I have been hurt, that they beat me and reveled in it. That I could have died, and they could be coming back for more.
Sometimes I’m able to fool myself into forgetting it happened, but others I’m scared…and I don’t want to be scared. I don’t want to let them win. I want to go on living my life.
Which is hard to reconcile with the fact that tonight is the last night Cillian will be staying with me, and I don’t want him to go. I’m not ready to be alone, and that makes me feel weak.
