Page 48 of Sweet Vengeance
I love doing it, but the thought of bringing Cillian that kind of pleasure…about having him in my mouth, on my tongue, this man who is confusing and infuriating, bad but somehow good…it’s like this need clawing at me from the inside, one I can’t hold back even if I wanted to.
“You want my cock, you dirty boy?”
Dirty boy.Those two words jumpstart something inside me I didn’t know was there, something I’m not sure how I feel about. But there’s no denying the zing of electricity shooting through me hearing them, the part of me that longs to be that dirty boy Cillian says I am.
So much of my life has been about playing it safe. About being good, doing the right thing, focusing on my responsibilities. Those are all honest parts of me. Doing the right thing isimportant to me, and succeeding, and being a responsible human being, but maybe, here, in this space, I can be dirty too. If Cillian can be both good and bad, maybe I can be multiple things as well.
“Yes. I want your cock.” I test the words on my tongue. “So bad.”
He reaches out, running his fingers through my hair. “Fuck. That’s not why I did what I did, but I’m not going to deny you either. Not when you want my load so bad. We have to find a way to do this without you being in pain.”
His response tells me I chose the right person, that for all his faults, Cillian is safe for me to be…well, bad with. He’s a safe space to let go and explore this side of me.
“Can you sit on the edge of the bed? I think it would be okay if I knelt in front of you.” I look down just in time to see his cock twitch beneath his boxer briefs. “Clearly, you like the idea.”
“You on your knees for me? Fuck yes, Kitten. Why don’t you get down there for me right now.”
Heat rips through my body like a tornado. God, I want this so bad, more than I ever would have thought. What is it about him that makes me feel this way?
I climb gingerly off the bed and kneel on the floor. Cillian watches me, his blue eyes studying, curious, like he’s trying to sort through something in his head.
He stands up, his bulge close to my face. It’s so fucking hot, so mouthwatering, I can’t help but lick my lips.
“Jesus. Look how much you want it.”
I lean in, pressing my nose into his cotton-covered groin. The musky scent of him assaults my senses, going straight to my head. As wild as it sounds, I could get drunk off the smell of him, sit right here all night and just breathe Cillian in. Everything about him is so powerful, so addicting, I alreadydon’t recognize myself.
He runs his hand through my hair as I mouth his cock and balls through his underwear, breathing and sucking, tasting him, inhaling him in this almost feral, needy way. Maybe I should be embarrassed, maybe this should make me take a step back and kick him out of this room and never talk to Cillian O’Shea again, but neither of those things happen. I’m too lost in him, too far gone already—or maybe it’s not that I’m gone, but that I’m found. Again, it’s that safe place I’ve found in someone who shouldn’t feel safe at all.
“Let’s get these off.” Cillian tugs on the band of his boxer briefs.
I pull back just enough so he can remove them. The second I get my first glimpse of his cock, a tremor rattles through me. It’s hands down the most beautiful dick I’ve ever seen—thicker than any I’ve had in my mouth before, pink and flushed, with dark, coarse hair at his groin, and balls I want to bury my face in.
“Go ahead,” he says when he steps out of his underwear. “My dirty boy is dying for it. Touch it, lick it, suck it, whatever you want. Take what you need from me.”
I dive right in, my brain empty of any thoughts except Cillian’s dick. I go straight for his balls, nuzzling and licking them the way I’d been thinking about doing just moments ago. The scent of him is even stronger now—musk, soap, and an earthy smell I can’t place but which feels unique to him. I want to lose myself in him, bury myself right here between his legs, worshipping at the altar of Cillian. It doesn’t even bother me to think those kinds of thoughts. Maybe it will later, but not right now, with him, opening this part of me I didn’t know was there.
“Kiss it,” he tells me, and I pull back to do exactly that, kissing the tip of his cock, getting precum on my lips beforelicking it away. I kiss him again and again, the head, down his shaft, his balls, and back up to the tip again. I’m not sure what his mouth tastes like, but I’ll memorize the flavor of his cock so I never forget it.
Cillian fists my hair, tilts my head back so I’m looking up at him. He grabs his dick with his other hand, rubbing it all over my face, pressing his balls against my chin. I don’t even care when he knocks my glasses off. My tongue slips out, letting him rub his cock all over that and getting my face a mess in the process.
“Jesus, Kitten. You’re the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. You’re so goddamned cock-hungry for me. Just me, aren’t you? Mine is the only dick you would lose it for like this, isn’t it? Just me.”
“Yes,” I admit. “Please.” I don’t understand what it is about him, and I don’t think I care anymore. How can I, when he unleashes such a powerful part of me?
“Such a good, dirty boy. Suck my dick. I want to watch it slip past those pretty lips of yours.”
My stomach twists, blood rushing to my cock again. There’s no stopping me from getting hard again.
I angle my head so I can take him into my mouth, but he says, “Wait.” He bends over, picks up my glasses, wipes them off on the sheet, then pushes them onto my face. “You look cute in them, and I want you to be able to see me.”
My dick twitches. The simplest things with him turn me on so much, but then, maybe that wasn’t simple at all. It’s one of those moments when Cillian is looking out for me, thinking about me. “Thank you.”
“God, you’re so fucking great.”
I can’t say why thanking him makes him think I’m great, but I’m not going to complain. I take him into my mouth, ease forward, letting him slip in deep, taking Cillian as far intomy throat as I can.
“Fuck, look at you, almost taking me all.” He holds on to my hair again, keeping me in place as he pulls back, then slowly thrusts forward. He does it over and over again, thrusting into my mouth—not hard, not making me choke, but leading the way, taking me the way he wants. Each time he hits the back of my throat, I swallow around him. My whole body is buzzing, begging for more. As if reading my thoughts, he picks up the pace, taking my mouth harder, testing my limits.
