Page 71 of Sweet Vengeance
Cillian grabs my face in his hands, looks at me for a second that’s both over too quickly and somehow drags out for eternity before his lips slam down on mine and he kisses me with everything he has in him, like he’s drowning and only I can breathe life into him. He pushes his tongue into my mouth, tasting me, letting me taste him too, sating a hunger I can only find with him.
He walks me backward to the bed, pushing me down and climbing right on top of me, our lips never parting. It’s like my mouth holds answers he’s been searching for, like the secrets of the universe are found in my lips and Cillian is destined to discover them. We kiss until my jaw hurts, until I’m not sure it’s possible to breathe without his lips attached to mine.
I know that whatever Cillian did tonight was wrong, but I also know he could have died, and that’s all I care about. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but I don’t have it in me to care anymore. He could have died, but he didn’t, and now he’s here, with me.
“Please,” I beg again, our lips a breath apart.
“You need me, dirty boy? Tell me. I need to hear it.”
“I need you…so much.”
“Fuck. You are so goddamned perfect. You know I don’t deserve you, right?”
I shake my head because in this world I’ve created for us in my head, none of that matters.
“Don’t lie to yourself about me.”
“I’m not. I just don’t care. I want you. Don’t make me wait.”
He curses again before shoving onto his knees and ripping open the buttons on his shirt. Cillian tosses it to the floor, then goes for my T-shirt and pauses.
“What?” I ask, looking down, only to realize what my tee says—I’m a law student.That explains it, then. “Well, this is awkward.” I hadn’t thought about it when I put it on.
He surprises me by laughing, by smiling at me in a way I’ve never made anyone smile before. I do this to him. I make him…happy, don’t I? I give Cillian something no one else does, just how he does with me. It doesn’t matter how different we are. Nothing matters except how we feel, and there’s something so incredibly beautiful in that.
“Look at me…about to fuck a future lawyer. I, Cillian O’Shea, have a future lawyer beneath me…and he’smine.”
My heart thuds. My cock throbs. My whole body is so sensitive and hungry for him.
Our mouths slam together for a hard, searing kiss, and then Cillian is stripping me naked, pulling out of his clothes, and rutting against me. He kisses his way down my body, presses his tongue into my navel, then pulls my cock into his warm, wet mouth.
“Fuck.” I thrust into him.
“Dirty boy with a dirty mouth.” He takes me inside him again, licking and sucking me. It feels incredible, the best thing I’ve ever experienced, including the other times he’s blown me, but I need more. I’ll never not need more from him.
“Please. Need you inside me.”
He pulls off me and scoots up so we’re lying side by side. Cillian wraps a hand around my shaft, stroking slowly. “I want to fuck you. It’s killing me how bad I want to fuck you,but…are you sure?”
“Yes,” I rush out. “I’ve never been surer about anything.” It hits me then, that he really doesn’t think he deserves me, that he really wants to do right by me, despite still living in the world he lives in. “I want it to be you. I need it to be you. My first.”
“No one will ever touch you unless I say they can.” His hand lowers and palms my balls.
“Yes. I’m yours,” I say breathlessly. Are we saying what I think we are? Is this Cillian’s way of telling me this is real? That he wants it to last? That he’s not putting an expiration date on us anymore? Because I know I’m not. I don’t ever want to lose him, no matter the consequences.
“Such a good, dirty boy…” He keeps playing with my balls, making goose bumps flood my skin and all my nerve endings feel like they’re on fire. “Have you ever had something inside you before?”
My face blazes. “Cillian!”
“What? I’m trying to prepare. This is new for me too, remember, and I want to take care of you.”
Oh, well, when he puts it that way. “My fingers…and I have a…toy.”
He grins.
“Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything. I was just imagining you fucking yourself with a dildo.”
