Page 116 of Ice Darling
Renthrow’s concern for his daughter ispalpable,and it gets even more intense when a frazzled woman opens the front door and we race into her humble bungalow.
Gordie’s beneath a large dining room table. She’s wearing a sparkly Hello Kitty shirt and matching pink jeans. A glittery blue headband keeps her dark hair away from her face.
Outwardly, nothing seems wrong.
But she’s staring straight ahead, her hands wrapped around her knees. And she’s so still.
“Oh Gordie,” I whisper, my heart cracking in half. The emptiness in her eyes isn’t like her at all.
Across the room, a little girl is watching Gordie anxiously. The little girl notices our entry and runs in our direction.
My body instinctively takes a step back, and I see Renthrow noticing that, but it’s just for a moment. He then focuses his attention on the child who stops in front of him.
“Mr. Renthrow, is Gordie okay?”
“Yeah, Vinnie.” He’s extremely gentle when he kneels in front of her. “She’s just having sad thoughts right now.” His hazel eyes meet mine desperately. “I’ll go talk to her.”
I nod.
Vinnie steps out of Renthrow’s way, and when she sees me, her eyes widen. “You’re the bike lady!”
I edge away from her. “H-hey.”
“I’m Vinnie.” She moves closer. “I’m Gordie’s friend.”
“Mm.”
“AreyouGordie’s friend?” She takes a step forward.
I step back. “Mm-hm.”
“Does that mean you and I are friends too?”
I swallow hard, noticing how both her elbows are covered with Band-Aids. Vinnie notices where my gaze has gone and lifts her elbow proudly.
“I got these falling off my bike,” she explains. “I don’t use training wheels anymore.”
“How…nice.” I point to the table. “I’ll go see if I can help.”
“Come over here, Vinnie,” the mother calls, giving me a wary look.
I’m more than happy to get away and join Renthrow who’s kneeling in front of the dining room table. He has to duck his head to see under all the chairs.
“Gordie, sweetheart, Daddy’s here. Are you okay?”
The silence that meets his statement is ear-splitting.
He reaches toward Gordie, but his hand freezes in midair, and he pulls back. The shattered expression on his face breaks my own heart. The pain and helplessness is right there, right at the surface.
I touch his shoulder, and he looks at me, his nostrils flaring and his eyes heavy.
Shakily, I nod.
He backs away from the table, and I take his place, my heart thudding in my ears.
How do I do this? My awkward interaction with Vinnie proved that I’m still terrible with children. I’m not the person evenadultsthink about when they need comfort. I’ve got no soft, motherly touch. I didn’t receive a soft, motherly touch growing up either.
What if Renthrow was wrong? What if that first time Gordie responded to me was a coincidence? What if she sees how messed up I am and turns me away just like she does everyone else?
