Page 123 of Ice Darling
“It’s in the past, Brennon,” I say sincerely. “We’re different people now.”
“Still, it’s bothered me. I’ve always regretted how I acted. At the time, I was in love with your sister.” He licks his lips, and the eyes I know so well trail to the floor. “It’s kind of stupid to admit now, but I didn’t want her getting any ideas that you and I were together. I wanted to make it really clear that I wasn’t interested in you, and I think I overdid it.”
I stare at the boy I’d been madly in love with. “I know.”
“You…you did?”
“I was always watching you, remember? And you were always watching Gwen.”
In a way, that made me want him more. If I could convince Brennon to love me instead of my sister, maybe it would prove that I was as valuable as Gwen. Maybe it would prove that I could beat her.
But of course, Brennon wouldn’t choose me over my poised, elegant, and outgoing sister.
He smiles regretfully. “I was devastated when she got married so young. I’d always pictured us together.”
“Life is funny that way.”
For example, I’d always pictured that one day, Brennon would open his eyes and see what was right in front of him.
There was even a time when I started dressing a little like Gwen in the hopes that he would take a longer look at me, simply because we looked alike.
I add in a pained voice, “You never know how the story will end.”
“Some stories end too early.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “I still miss her.” He unleashes a sheepish smile and shakes his head. “I know it must be hard for you to understand.”
Instantly, my muscles tighten. “What isthatsupposed to mean?”
“You handled it better than anyone.” His eyes are wide as if he can’t comprehend why I’m offended. “You didn’t even go to the funeral.”
I blink rapidly. “Is that what you think?”
“Am I wrong?” He gestures with his arms, getting more animated. “Even after the funeral, your mom took six months off, but you went right back to work, taking over the company. Everyone in the office said it was like nothing had happened.”
My fingers tremble, and I curl them into fists at my side. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It’s just us here, Dee-Dee. I know where things stood between you and Gwen. I don’t blame you for being unaffected.”
I can’t breathe.Unaffected.Unaffected?
“My sister died, and you think I didn’t feel that?” I hiss.
“I’m not blaming you or anything.” Brennon puts a hand on my shoulder and pats me cautiously as if he’s expecting a wild, animal-like response from me. “There’s no right way to grieve. You were always tougher than her. It didn’t surprise me when you didn’t break down. That’s just who you are, Dee-Dee. You’re the strong one.”
My nostrils flare, and emotions prickle the back of my eyes. Those words have haunted me my entire life.
“Mom is flying to Gwen’s pageant, so she can’t come to your dirt-bike event. But that’s okay, right? You prefer being alone anyway.”
“Gwen’s got a commercial that Saturday, so we’re pulling our team from the Harley Davidson anniversary exhibit. Maybe we can do the exhibit next time.”
I remember the conversation Mom had with me when I wanted to study building bikes in college.
“Delia, building bikes isn’t suitable. You’re a Davenport. You need to learn to manage the company.”
“But why isn’t Gwen doing it?”
“Do you see how sensitive Gwen is? She can’t kill a mosquito, much less fire an employee. Gwen wasn’t built to take that kind of stress. But you’re tough.”
The tears are about to stream down my face, but I refuse to cry in front of Brennon. I’d rather chew glass.
