Page 129 of Ice Darling
Or sweet words.
Or affection.
Tough girls don’t need to be held like they’re glass or have their heads rubbed to a gentle cadence.
Tough girls don’t believe it when people say they’ll never let go.
So when Renthrow hugs me, I know I should push him off and reinforce the facade I’ve upheld for all these years.
This gentleness feels so foreign to me. Like I should remind him of who I am. Like maybe he’s mistaken. Maybe he thinks he has the other sister in his arms.
I’m Cordelia Davenport.
I don’t need to be coddled and spoiled. I don’t need to be pitied and fussed over.
But as Renthrow’s arms cross around the back of my neck to push me farther into the crook of his neck and shoulder, as his large hand soothes my hair—I can’t do it.
The Delia who spent her entire life alone, watching from the sidelines as everyone crooned and clapped for Gwen, who hardened herself after too many hurts, who welcomed the callouses on her fingers and on her heart—doesn’t have the strength.
She’s—I’mtired.
So tired of being tough.
Closing my eyes, I wrap my arms around his waist and allow Renthrow to hold me. His chest is hard and firm beneath my cheek. He smells like sweat, cologne, and a subtle fragrance that I caught when I was at his house. Something warm and woodsy. I can’t help but take a dragging inhale.
That firm, steady hand moves up and down over my hair. He doesn’t say anything, and yet, he’s saying so much.
You’re okay.
I’m here.
I’m not going anywhere.
I let that comfort wash over me for longer than I should. But eventually, I remember where we are and that his teammates and Gordie could walk out at any time.
Taking a centering breath, I whisper against his chest, “I’m fine now.”
To my surprise, his arms tighten around me, pressing my face farther into his chest.
“I’mnot,” he rumbles, and I feel the vibration of those words from his bones.
I let out a surprised little squeak as Renthrow gathers me up by the small of my waist and presses me even closer.
It hurts to be squeezed this much, but it’s a nice kind of ache. The emptiness I didn’t even realize I had is slowly being filled with every python-like squeeze.
“I was afraid something happened to you on the road. I imagined the worst…” His voice trails like the thought of megetting into an accident is too terrifying to immortalize with words.
I pat his back in comfort. “As you can see, I’m here in one piece… Gergh!” I wince as he squeezes again.
He’s too strong.
I have to tap out.
“Renthrow,” I squeak, “I can’t…breathe.”
Renthrow grunts in surprise, and his arms immediately fall away from me. “Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” I mumble awkwardly.
