Page 191 of Ice Darling
“Let me,” Mom says, hustling ahead. “I’ve done this a million times.”
With Mom and Gordie gone, I wander around the shop. My eyes are drawn to the picture frames on the wall. To my surprise, there’s a frame of Gwen. She’s dressed in a stunning blue dress, hair fluffed and eyes bright, and full of life as she smiles prettily for the camera.
“That was my first time tackling a pageant dress,” Juanita says, coming up behind me.
I choke up and try to ignore the pain in my chest.
“I hadn’t moved here yet,” she says, pointing to the floor. “And it was just me and my sewing machine. I remember your mom was very particular about the design. I wanted to throw her out and tell her to sew her own dress then.”
I laugh. “Mom can have that kind of effect on people.”
We both fall silent and stare at the picture.
“She was very beautiful,” Juanita says softly. Turning to me with a scrunched nose, she asks, “I don’t remember. Did she win? That pageant? The one she wore that dress for?”
“She won runner-up, and everyone threw a fit, saying she should have taken first place. They even signed petitions.” I return to that memory with a wry smile. “Gwen made a public statement asking everyone to stop and think about how the first-place winner would feel. She was always gracious.”
“Now that you mention it, I do remember her saying something about petitions. She admitted she was holding back during the pageant and that she wished she was brave like you.”
I whip my head to Juanita. “What?”
The woman seems surprised by my reaction. “W-well, maybe I’m remembering wrong. It could have been another pageant?—”
“Gwen talked about me?”
Laugh lines spread in Juanita’s forehead. “Oh, all the time. I dressed her for a few occasions after that, and her favorite thing in the world was chatting about what you were up to. It was always ‘My sister did this’ and ‘My sister did that.’ She told me about your dirt-bike racing and the motorcycle you bought.”
“She told you that?” I croak.
“Your life, to her eyes, was such a great adventure! I dressed her for her last pageant before the pregnancy, and she said you were?—”
“Tada!” Mom whips the curtains back, and Gordie comes prancing out of the dressing room. “What do you think?”
I turn to Mom, my fingers trembling.
Instantly, Mom’s smile drops. She hurries over. “What? What is it?”
“Are you okay?” Gordie approaches me in her pretty dress.
I shake my head, struggling to make sense of Juanita’s admission. Around the time of those pageants, Gwen and I weren’t close. So…why was she talking about me?
The slimy sensation of regret wraps itself around my body, and I squeeze my eyes shut, breathing hard.
For years, I resented my twin for ignoring me and embracing her fancy pageant life with all her girly, pageant friends. I thought I’d been forgotten and pushed aside by the one person who should have known me best.
Had I been wrong about her, aboutus,this entire time?
Chapter Sixty-Five
Renthrow
The adrenaline coursing through me makes me jittery. I tap my Hello Kitty pen on the bench so hard that it snaps.
I reach for the other pen in between Gunner’s notebook, but he snaps the book closed and sends me a warning look.
Chance hands me one of his fidget spinners instead. “Use this, or none of our pens will survive the day.”
“Do you have it yet?” I give the toy a flick, and it goes spinning. It helps a bit but not enough to stop the nerves jangling in my stomach.
