Page 200 of Ice Darling
“Come on,” Mom encourages. “Let’s all do it.”
Awkwardly, I plant my hand on my hip the way Mom does. Gordie does the same, and though it starts off as a joke, she really seems to gain confidence with every strut.
We burst through the arcade doors, and the entire room goes silent.
Rather than shirk back, Gordie, Mom, and I embrace the dramatic entrance. We glide to the tables decorated with balloons and filled with a bunch of six-and seven-year-olds in princess dresses and gloves.
Gordie’s so sweet that the moment she gets close to her friends, she stops her catwalk and runs excitedly to Vinnie, eager to present the gift we bought.
“Vinnie, this is for you,” Gordie says, smiling wide.
“Thank you!” Vinnie shrieks when she tears the box open and sees an expensive doll inside. “It’s just what I wanted!”
“You look so pretty, Gordie!” Vinnie’s mother announces. “Let me take a picture.”
Gordie shifts to a “model” face at once and raises her chin higher as Vinnie’s mother snaps a shot. As soon as the photo’s been taken, she breaks out into her usual gum-blaring grin.
“That,” Mom whispers, “is a butterfly spreading her wings.”
Gordie looks our way, and we both wave our goodbyes. She waves back and is promptly pulled by Vinnie to one of the arcade machines. Vinnie is sticking especially close to Gordie now that she’s received an expensive gift. And though I know, first-hand, that buying presents for people to like you is the number one way to make fake friends…I still love to see Gordie so happy.
My throat thickens with emotion as I watch the little girl laugh with her friends. “Thank you for your help.”
“Thankyou.” Mom hesitates and then takes my hand.
I stare at our joined hands and then at her.
She gives my hand a squeeze and motions to the exits. “Can we talk for a minute?”
I follow her through the double doors and into the late evening sunshine.
Mom perches on the edge of a bench, and I sit a healthy distance away. While I’m grateful, I still don’t feel fully comfortable around her. We’re family, but we’re also strangers. She was much closer to Gwen than to me growing up, and now, to have her full attention, makes me awkward. I don’t really know what to say.
“I have to fly back for a meeting soon. The plane is waiting for me.”
I nod.
“I really enjoyed shopping with you girls. Gordie’s so beautiful, and I could totally see her in pageants.” Mom stammers. “I…hope you don’t think I’m trying to turn Gordie into Gwen. I respect that Gordie has her own interests.”
“About that…I overreacted that night. I lashed out at you because, well, a part of me feels guilty for what I did to Gwen. And seeing you reminds me of that.”
“Cordelia, you listen to me, and you listen well. You didn’t doanythingto Gwen. Not a darn thing. There’s nothing to be guilty for. Don’t let Ray get into your head.”
My eyes widen. “You know about Ray?”
“That’s why I came looking for you,” Mom explains. “I thought being free from me was best for you, so I planned on keeping my distance. But when I learned of all the things Ray had been saying to you, I couldn’t let it be. I had to come and tell you the truth.”
I hold my breath as Mom stares right into my eyes and breathes, “I love you. Andsheloved you. You weren’t responsible for Gwen passing any more than I am. And she wouldn’t resent you for anything. She adored you until her last breath.”
Tears fill my eyes. “I was awful to her. We fought because of a guy.” I brush away a tear. “And I didn’t even come to her baby shower.”
Mom pats my hand. “I found a video when I was clearing out some computer files last night.” She taps on her phone and sends the video to me. “I thought you’d like to watch it.”
Mills jogs up to us. “Miss Sasha, your flight…”
“It’s a private jet, Mills. They can wait until I’m ready.”
“I know more than anyone how busy you are, Mom. You should go.”
