Page 90 of Ice Darling
I shake my head. “Nothing to be sorry about. A woman is more than her reproductive organs. Personally, I think there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids.” I shake my head. “But having Gordie only amplified that our paths were different. After the divorce, I took Gordie back to my hometown while she focused on all the things she wanted to do to change the world.”
“And that was that? She just…never called.”
“She does, sometimes. When she can.”
“How often is that?”
“When she can,” I say again. “It’s a treat for Gordie when she does, and life goes on when she doesn’t.”
“You can’t be serious,” Cordelia snaps.
“Life is complicated. She’s doing the best she can, and I’m grateful to her.”
“Grateful?”
“Yeah.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“She wasn’t perfect, but neither was I. If I hadn’t been so immature, maybe I could have found a way to keep my marriage together.”
“You were presented with a choice between your wife and your daughter. What decision were you supposed to make?”
I blink as her voice climbs in volume. “Cordelia?—”
“You’re this even-tempered, always prepared, ‘keep the kitchen sink in his back pocket’ guy. Igetthat. But this? You have a right to be angry about this. She ran away from Gordie. She basically abandoned her daughter. When a man throws his family away, we call him a loser and a deadbeat. Just because she’s a woman, doesn’t make it any different.”
“Gordie’s mom is not a deadbeat,” I say firmly.
Maybe the words are a little too firm because Cordelia flinches and abruptly snaps her mouth shut.
I soften my tone. “She didn’t want kids. For her own reasons, she didn’t really like kids.” I glance pointedly at Cordelia who looks away in discomfort. “I’m the one who kept repeating how much I wanted them.”
Thinking back to that difficult time in my marriage, I add, “Gordie’s mom chose to go through with the pregnancy despite feeling the way she did, despite the risks to her body. It’s enoughthat she gave me Gordie. It’s enough that I get to live every day with my little girl. I don’t need anything more from her. She already gave me the best gift of all.”
Cordelia folds her arms over her chest, staring at the “Welcome to Lucky Falls” sign. “Okay then.”
And it’s the last two words she says to me all night.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sasha: Hey, Brenda! Checking in now that I’m back from my business trip. Sorry I’ve been out for so long.
Brenda: Oh, it’s fine! I know you’re busy.
Sasha: How are the kids? Have they made any progress?
Brenda: Yes! My son took your daughter out tonight.
Sasha: Fantastic!
Brenda: He insisted it was just a “business meeting” with someone from your company, but I’ve never seen him put so much effort into looking good.
Sasha: That was fast.
Brenda: What do you mean?
Sasha: Brennon is doing his job.
