Page 26 of Chad's Chase
“No…it’s not the guilt…it’s…”
“What?”
Raising his head, Chad stared his friend right in the eyes. “I want her, JK. I want her so ridiculously bad it’s making me irrational.”
And there was that look on his friend’s face again. The wide-eyed, open-mouthed, what-the-fucking-fuck look. “No, Chad, it’s not making you ‘irrational’. It’s making yousuicidal. Sui-fuckin’-cidal.”
Chad’s shoulders jerked up in a careless shrug. “I can’t help it. I want her.” Pushing up from his chair, he pulled his dress shirt from out of his pants and began unbuttoning it.
JK eyed him. “Ah, I know I’m overwhelmingly hot and all that, but butt-fucking’s not my thing. Save the striptease for that freak show, Kevin Bates.”
Chad ignored the cocky little shit and popped the last button, then parted the shirt open to display his tattoos. He pointed to the lyrics on his side. “Remember how you laughed at me and called me a pussy when I got this song tatted? When you asked who it was for?”
“You never told me.”
“For her,” Chad said. “I did it because I missed her. Every day. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t make myself stop missing her. This girl, she means more to me than you know. I can’t. I can’t help it. I can’t kill her.”
With a long, loud, disbelieving sigh, JK scrubbed his hands down his face. “Long as I’m alive, I’m your friend, Chad. But I wasn’t raised like you. Wasn’t raised to embrace and condone crime and bloodshedding. You’ve been dealt a shit hand in life. You never asked for any of this, and for that reason, I’ll never judge your double life.
“However, you must understand that while I love your normal side, I can’t accept the darkness. What I just saw, the infrared on your forehead, is the scariest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever seen. Thought I was about to lose you, man. And I don’t ever wanna see or feel anything like that again. But now you have some kinda twisted feelings for your assassin, which I translate todeath wish.
“So here’s what’s gonna happen: we’re gonna pause workin’ on Red Rhage for now, until you get your shit sorted out. Fuck off for now and don’t come anywhere near my family. Not even Alina, because I consider her my family.
“Whenever you need me, man, I’ll show the fuck up, but as for my family I don’t want your darkness shadowin’ their lives. Don’t want them knowin’ the ugliness of your second life.
“Respect my wishes. If you don’t, I’ll sever all ties with you. Until you sort out this sordid thing you got with this chick,fuck off.”
Because he understood, Chad nodded.
If he had a family he loved and cared for, he’d demand the same. Chad had two sisters who’d issued him the same warning.
They wanted him nowhere near their family. Hardly ever picked up the phone when he called, and invited him to none of their family gatherings. His sisters thought him and his father symbolized nothing but death and destruction.
JK, he’s a pastor’s son. Goes without saying he couldn’t just sit and talk guns and bullets with the guy. Chad told him everything, and the guy would listen and never judged, but never accepted either. That dude might be an asshole, but he had the one coveted thing Chad didn’t have within him: humanity. And this made JK complete enemies with his dark side.
Appeased with Chad’s easy agreement, JK relaxed in his chair and folded his hands behind his head, smirking. “So,howexactly are you gonna get this Killing Byrd on Team Chad?”
Brow arched up, Chad looked at his friend as though the answer had been obvious. “I’m gonna fuck some sense into her.”
