Page 70 of The Biker and the Baker
I let go of the door and cross the room, prop myself on the edge of the desk and fold my arms. “All ears.”
He leans back against the wall next to the door and stuffs his hands inside the pants pockets of his sharp suit. “Despite what you might think, I’m not proud of this ‘womanizer’ rep. It’s not who I wanted to be. We grew up together, Owen, youknowI wasn’t always like this.”
“Yeah, you went to Paris a decent guy and came back a complete dipshit.”
He’d moved to Paris on business some years ago, returned two years later an entirely different person, destructive and despicable. That’s when I stopped fucking with him, distanced myself.
He says, “That’s where I met her.”
Met who? Pia? Not Pia. He can’t have known her that long.
“And that’s where I fell in love with her.”
I grit my teeth. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Owen, Pia is…” He looks to the ceiling with a sigh, searching for words. “How do I say this…if you’re serious about her, if you think she’s it for you,don’ttell her. She’s…she has some sort of commitment phobia. It’s bad, fucked-up. But it’s tricky because she doesn’t show any signs of being a commitment-phobe. It’s like, the opposite. She leads you on, makes you believe that’s what she wants, and when you give it to her, she cuts you loose.”
“And you’ve come to this conclusion how?” I ask him, scowl in place. “You a fucking shrink now?”
He shakes his head. “The year I met Pia is the year everything changed. Easily one of the best years of my life. She was like sunshine and fresh air, vibrant and so fucking alive. It was euphoric just to benearher. Never experienced anything like it. Suffice it to say, I fell fast and hard.
“But I didn’t know the other side of her. The toxic side. Not until I made the mistake of telling her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. Long story short, I proposed, she said yes, and a week later she disappeared.
“Months later, while I was with someone else, we ran into each other at a party. Suddenly she wanted me again. I broke up with my girlfriend to be with her. Then she disappeared on me again. Another couple of months later, the same thing happened: she saw me with someone else, she wanted me, I left them for her, she left me. It became this really insane, toxic cycle.
“Fast forward to us both being back home from Paris. I’m with someone, she sees me with them, wants me again…but this time, I didn’t give up the person I was with to be with her. And that’s how I got tokeepher.”
“Keep who? Pia, or the girl?”
“Pia,” he says. “See, as long as I wasn’t available, Pia was mine whenever I wanted her. That’s what birthed this new persona of mine. I became this person forher. Being a player or whatever kept her interest. It’s fucked up. She completely fucked me up.” He drops his shoulders with a pathetic sigh. “Spent seven years chasing a girl who was never gonna let me have her the way I wanted her.”
What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I can’t even wrap my head around it. None of it sounds evenremotelylike Pia.
I uncross my arms and shrug. “Blaming her for your being an asswipe who calls women ‘dumbfucks’ is overkill. If what you’re saying is true, you could’ve just kept one chick. Didn’t need to go around fucking everything with a pulse.”
He sighs and tips his head in agreement. “I admit, somewhere along the way I lost myself. But she fucked my head up. I wanted her. Just her. And she wouldn’t let me have that.Of courseI acted out.”
“So badly that you’ve landed yourself in a world of shit,” I say.
Visibly agitated, he shoves his fingers back through his gelled hair. “I’ve been thinking about talking to the Garza brothers. See if they could help. I’ve gotta get myself outta this, man.”
“Yeah, you do,” I agree. “If there’s anyone who can help with something like this, it’s them.”
I straighten and round my desk. The notification light on my cell blinks red, and I quickly tap the screen to check if it’s a response from Pia. Nope, just a junk text from my network provider. Could Calvin be right? Is Pia trying to drop me?
I think back to the last time things were normal with us. It was the night I slept at her place for the first time. I’d told her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and she’d admitted that she’d fallen in love with me. Things have been weird as fuck ever since.
But still, Calvin just sounds like a spurned guy in love. And I get it, Pia’s pretty damn close to perfect. I’d be losing my mind, too. Hell, I’m losing my mind right now after just four days of not being able to hold her, kiss her, touch her.
“Regarding Pia,” I say, sitting down. “Dunno, man. Sounds to me like she just wasn’t all that into you.”
With a snort, he pushes away from the wall. “You broke the bro code, Owen, so I could’ve just left you to get fucked over by her. You might not wanna hear it, but I know her better than you. I’ve been in love with that woman for seven years.” He turns to the door and grabs the handle, pausing to tell me over his shoulder, “Just take my advice.Don’ttell her you love her.Don’ttell her you want a life with her.Don’task her to marry you. If you want to keep her,ignoreher.”
As I watch him disappear through the door, all I can think is,too late.
~
I spot her across the street at Slata’s Jerk Station. Yeah, I know she gets jerk chicken here after work on Fridays, but I didn’t ride here on purpose knowing that. This is an honest run-in. I’m in the mood for some fried dumplings and this place makes the best.
