Page 105 of The Right Garza
We stay like that for a long time, bathing in each other, until my calves start to burn from tipping up for so long.
“Are you hungry?” I whisper. “I made paella.”
“Yeah…” His smile is so fucking beautiful. “I am.”
~
After dinner, wego out on the balcony to soak up some cool night air, like we used to do when I slept over on the weekends.
He’s nursing a bottle of cold beer, while I overindulge in a bowl of caramel-drizzled ice-scream.
Our balcony time is usually filled with banter, debates, or make-out sessions, but now it’s comfortable silence.
There’s that thing between us—the thing that goes without saying, yet still needs to be said.
I scrape the last bit of ice-cream from my bowl. It’s the first time in days that I’ve had a real appetite and didn’t have to force myself to eat. As I’m licking the spoon clean, Trent shoots me an amused glance. I don’t care. Food finally tastes good again and I’m enjoying every second of it.
I set the bowl down and lay back in the lounge chair, gazing up at the inky-blue sky with misty clouds and hidden stars.
After a long moment, I ask, “Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”
His gaze touches the side of my face. “Why did you want to leave?”
“Because…” I sigh and close my eyes. “I was a blind idiot with my head too far up my own ass to see what’s right in front of me. Just like I was when we were kids.”
Opening my eyes, I shift onto my side to face him. He’s looking at me.He’s always looking at me. Because...heseesme.
“When Stefano pointed that gun at my head and I was sure it was over for me, I saw only one face, and it was yours.”
His expression morphs into one of mild surprise.
“Yeah, I know,” I say. “I thought for sure it would’ve been Mama’s, but it wasn’t. It was you. And... I remembered...things.”
He takes a swig of his beer before asking, “What things?”
“The things I didn’t hear before…” I lift a hand to finger my gold necklace and his gaze falls to it. “In that moment, on the brink of death, I heard them loud and clear.” My eyes burn as emotions flood me. “You tried to tell me...so many times.”
He drops his gaze.
Averts it.
The discovery might be new for me, but for him, they’re old feelings that he probably no longer has. Time has passed. He’s lived his life and I’ve lived mine. So I get that this conversation might be uncomfortable for him or even unwanted.
But what I do know is that I want to be with this man, so I’m not going to allow my ego to get the better of me this time. I’m going to fight to have his heart again.
I get up and cross over to his lounge chair. “I’ve discovered something,” I say as I sit astride him. “I’ve fallen in love with you.” I cup my hands to the sides of his neck, brushing my thumbs back and forth along his scruffy jawline. “And... if you still want to be with me, I want to stay.”
He gives me a lazy, contemplative blink as his free hand drifts to my hip and squeezes gently.
And as his gaze traces every detail of my face, I hold my breath.
Finally, he says, “Okay.”
I’m human after all, so I feel a sting, an unpleasant one, from his monosyllabic response. But, I can work with it. It’s better than I deserve.
I fall into him and press my face to his neck. He might not love me anymore, but he will again.
I’ll make sure of it.
