Page 109 of The Right Garza
Trent is watching me. Ifeelit. I’m his and he knows it.
And that knowledge makes me feel…safe. Less guilty for all this space I’ve nonverbally asked for.
That separation test I’ve been conducting? Yeah, it has worked so well giving me the confirmation that I needed, that now I’m terrified. Each day, being away from him becomes more and more suffocating. I craved and ached for him, itched to call him, touch him, kiss him, and wrap myself around him.
And that need, thatdesperate, helplessneed, has me scared shitless.
Now I’m questioning if loving someone this much, needing someone this much is even healthy.
Still, the deeper my desperation grows, the bigger my desire swells, the more I’ve punitively deprived myself.
What have I learned from this break? That there’s no way…no wayin hell or on earth I couldeverlive without this man.
Inhaling a deep, bolstering breath, I lift the phone to my ear. “Hi.”
“What’s the verdict?” he asks without preamble or pleasantry. And although his voice is devoid of warmth and patience and a tad on the cold side, just hearing it sends undulating waves of tremors down my spine.
“What verdict?”
“Are you leaving me, or are you staying?”
With damp hair limp and clumpy against my shoulders, I walk over to the bed and sit down. “I told you I’m staying.”
“Yeah, but see, I didn’t believe you.”
“You didn’t?”
“No, I didn’t,” he affirms. “Figured you were just overwhelmed and emotional after all that happened, talking from a place of fear. When you got up with cold feet the next morning and ran, you proved me right.
“I’ve respected your wishes and given you your time. But it’s been almost a month now, more than enough time to know if you want to be with me or not. So lemme have it.”
He’d not believed me. Thought I was just emotional and overwhelmed. All this time... “That’s what you think? That I had cold feet and ran?”
“Yeah.”
You’re so wrong, Trent. So wrong. “I love you.”
“But?” he asks, voice clipped.
Frustration creeps up my throat, though it’s more at myself than at him. For doing this to him. Staying away for so long, causing him to doubt me. “But nothing! I love you. I’minlove with you. I want to be with you. I’m staying with you. There’s nothing else!”
A long pause, before, “Okay.”
The call disconnects.
I stare at the phone, thrown and bewildered. What the hell just happened?
~
Soft kisses alongmy shoulder coax me from the sweet oblivion of sleep. I stir, creeping sluggishly up the aisle of awareness.
A low hum sings on the roof above, pitter-pattering against the windows.
Heat and hardness press up against my back, fingers whispering down my side.
A sweet, nipple-tightening thrill vibrates under my skin, strumming me alive, I press back encouragingly against the wall of patience, compassion, and heart-ensnaring hotness behind me. Submitting completely.
A calloused hand slips under my nightdress and drifts up my body, curving around my breasts, squeezing gently. My nipples tingle with excitement.
