Page 143 of The Bronze Garza
“I do.”
I snap my attention back to him. “You do what?”
“Know that I love you. That I want you.”
BOOM!
My heart explodes in my chest.
My neck and ears burn like they’ve been coated with gasoline and set on fire.
There’s a fist in my throat. I’m not breathing.
Breathe, Lyra, breathe.
Breathe, bitch!
The words come out in a strangle, “Y-You...loveme?”
“I do.”
Confirmed without pause or hesitation. Without stutter or falter. Confidently. Assuredly.
In disbelief, I shake my head. “How? I don’t under—I mean,why?”
He takes my hand and pulls it over onto his lap, clutching it tightly, as if he expects me to bolt. “I’m not particularly good with articulating or expressing my emotions,” he says, “or just being a normal human in general. But I know that when I’m with you, I’m calm. You make me calm. When I’m with you, I’m not in the past, but here in the present,feeling the present, living in the present. Focused. I’m not in Afghanistan stepping over dead bodies of children, babies, pregnant women, or watching my fellow soldiers fall one by one.
“A long time ago, I turned off my emotions so I wouldn’t have to feel, or care. But, somehow, you’ve managed to hack and disable all my self-imposed firewalls. Now here I am, vulnerable and exposed. Ifeelwith you. I feel so fucking much. And I’mhere. In the now. I’m content. You make me feel...human, Lyra. And…and I love you. I love you so much it scares the fuck out of me.”
Breathe…
Breathe…
Breathe..
“I…” Words fail me. How? How is it possible that this gorgeous, glorious, formidable, intricately crafted specimen is in love withme?
It’s not possible.
Unable to formulate a coherent thought, the only thing I can think to do is lobby the same question he’s always asked me, “What do you want, Torin?”
“I want you,” he answers in a beat. “A life with you. Marriage with you. Kids with you. To give you a life you deserve...”
Oh, sweet heavens.I chase after my breath, catching less than a lungful. “B-But?”
His head falls back against the window. “But it’s not ‘a realistic vision’.”
“Tell me, then.” I pull my legs up and drop my chin to my knees. “What would the reality be?”
He exhales heavily. “I’d most likely be gone a lot. Wouldn’t want kids ‘cause the last thing I wanna be is an absentee father.” He squeezes my hand. “And like I told you about Ray, my stepdad? That could be me. I could leave one day and never come back.”
“Is that it?” I ask.
He looks at me like he doesn’t understand.
“Dude, I thought you were gonna tell me that I’d have to be a part of a harem where I only get my turn with you every Wednesday or something. Or that you have super dangerous enemies who would shoot and dismember me to get to you. Or—”
“Stop that.”
