Page 162 of The Crowned Garza
“Yowza,” Reuben mutters with a whistle.
“Damn, man,” True says. “I almost went off the deep end when Lonny was dating that contractor prick. Can’t imagine if I had to watch her fuck around for years.”
“Tor knew all along, didn’t he?” Trent asks.
“Correct.”
“That fucker.” Reuben punches his fist into his palm. “Can’t believe he didn’t clue me in.”
I clear my throat. “While I don’t need your apologies, I would appreciate your blessing to ask for Tillie’s hand.”
“Christ in heaven,” Trent mutters. “Wejustfound out you’re in a relationship. Now we gotta think ’bout marriage?”
“You’ve got my blessing,” True responds with a firm nod. “After torturing yourself like that, man, you deserve it.”
Tripp shoots him an annoyed glance.
“Tor gave you his blessings?” Trent asks.
“Correct.”
He shares a look with Tripp, then clears his throat. “Gonna need some time to think about that.”
Tripp says, “You don’t have mine.”
“That’s fine. I said I’dappreciateit, not that I need it.”
He lifts a brow at me. “That’s how it’s gonna be, huh?”
“Yeah, that’s how it’s going to be. Where I’m from, we believe in showing respect and giving to Caesar what’s due to Caesar,” I tell him. “Where I’m from, when that respect is not returned, we also believe in taking whatever the fuck we want anyway. Start a war if we must.”
Tripp sniffs. “Are you tryna become my fucking enemy, man?”
“That’s up to you, golden boy.” I clasp my hands under my chin and eye them all. “You’ve talked about not knowing me. Let me give you a tiny glimpse. I had a papa who saw me as his greatest failure. Growing up, he would go out of his way to remind me I’m worthless and useless. Punish me for being a disappointment. I withstood his abuse without cracking, and I think he hated me more for it. I thought I was a tough kid. I thought I did a great job of protecting myself from his words. When he shipped me off toItalia, I thought, ‘I survived that. I’m safe.’
“Now, people see me for the value I bring. Appreciate it, praise it. But I didn’t realize that all this time, I’ve been exerting my entire existence intoprovingI wasn’t worthless, useless, a disappointment. I didn’t realize that a big goal I spent a decade working toward, the ultimate acceptance, wasn’t for me, but for him. To prove him wrong. I didn’t realize that no matter how high the rise or how loud the praises,hiswords were still the loudest.
“Not until recently. When the love of my life, the only person who sees me for me, made me realize I hadn’t escaped or survived my papa’s words at all. She sawme. Right into my fucking soul. The insecurities I didn’t know I had. The lies I didn’t know I believed. She singlehandedly undid all the damage Papa had done. And I realized, her acceptance, her praise was all I needed. All I’ll ever need.Herwords are all I live for now.”
Dropping my gaze to the table, I smile to myself and take a minute to soak up that truth and the overwhelming peace that comes with it.
Trent starts to speak, but I hold a hand up, letting them know I’m not done.
Clearing my throat, I inhale a resolute breath and continue, “What went down in Vegas was a rude awakening for me. From that experience, I learned that when it counts, none of you will have my back the way I’ve had yours. Angry, betrayed, slighted, whatever, I would never hurt any of you like that. Never. Because that’s what it’s like when you consider someone a ‘brother.’
“Yeah, I hid my real identity. You don’t know me, you’ve said. But you know what youdidknow when you were debating whether or not to kill me? That in or out of Red Cage, I had your backs. I’ve protected you. I’ve saved your lives. I’ve shown up and dug you out of some serious messes. I’ve trailed behind you and tied up your loose ends. For each one of you, individually, I’ve buried secrets that no one else knows about—and never will.
“And now I know. I’m not apersonto you. My life doesn’t matter. You all don’t give a shit about me. Just what I candofor you. But sadly, this is where that ends. From now on, we’re just colleagues. Outside of Red Cage, I’m off-limits to you. I don’t give a flying fuck what’s going on in your personal lives and I won’t show up to help. We aren’t friends. We aren’t enemies. We’re just teammates with the same goal.”
“Wait, does that apply to me, too?” Reuben jolts as if he’s been struck. “Ididn’t do anything. I stayed out of it!”
True looks gutted. “I just…just gave you my blessings, man. We’re about to be in-laws.”
He won’t handle this well. I’ll miss his friendship the most. He’s my favorite.
Trent claps his twin comfortingly on the back. “I respect your decision.”
Tripp glares down at the table, his jaw clenched.
