Page 210 of Ruin Me With Lies
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”
Another laugh rolls out of him.A laughing Stefano might be my favorite.
But, I favor sweet treats even more.I pluck the knife from the basket and slice into that delicate, creamy goodness…
Fifteen minutes later, the rich taste of marzipan on my tongue, I’m licking custard off my fork after I’ve devoured a massive wedge of cake and none of the other stuff Stefano prepared.“My assistants helped with this?”
“With the picnic,” he says.“For the cake, I called Pavlov.I wanted to get you the best and most authentic version.”
“Dad?”I almost choke on my next bite.“You have direct contact withPavlov Niiveaux?”
He looks confused.“Yeah, why?”
What the hell’s going on?Dad might be more tolerable than Mom, but notthistolerable.What on earth kind of deal do they have?
As much as I’m anxious to know, my gut warns me it’s nothing good, so instead of pushing for uncomfortable truths, I opt to preserve this peaceful moment.“Nothing.”
He’s unconvinced, but doesn’t push.“Not to sound homophobic, but why’s everyone on your team gay?”
Caught off guard, I snort cake up my nose.“Noteveryone.”I take a drink of water to recover.“Just my A-Team, which consists of eighteen people.You’ve mostly been interacting with the A-Team, because the others have more stringent obligations and tighter rotations, so they’re not around as much during the day.”
“Okay...”He shrugs, as if that didn’t answer his question.“Why is the entire A-Team gay?”
I tip my head from side to side.“Lots of trial and failure.In the end, I found that my lead team is more effective when everyone’s gay, married, detached, and has zero interest in me beyond their sworn duties.”I pause, then add, “Most importantly, my A-Team has full access to my personal life.They’re tuned in to me twenty-four-seven.They see and hear it all.”
“You mean...”His eyebrows jump slightly.“Itall?”
“Yup.”I tap behind my ear.“In the heat of the moment, I don’t always remember to mute this.”Taking in his scandalized expression, I bite back a laugh.“You, too.”
“That’s...something to digest.”He takes a swig from his flask.“Good thing they’re all gay then, or I’d be shooting people right now.”
Oh.Well, good thing I booted straight, virgin Devy from the team.I’d went against my own rules and added him to the A-Team because he’s wicked smart and fast.But after hearing me with Stefano, he couldn’t ever look me in the eye again.Had to get rid of him.
Stefano’s forehead creases slightly, as though he’s bothered by this bit.
Abandoning my treat, I crawl over and straddle his lap.“You’re chipped now, so you’ll understand soon enough that you won’t ever really have complete privacy.It will take some getting used to, but the discomfort will fade once you realize that the people on the other end are the ones you can trust and lean on the most.Because their lives are hitched to yours.”
He sighs, the sound strained, but he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.
“Why 444?”he asks.“Does it mean something?Three fours?”
My cheeks warm.“It does, but…” I bury my face in the curve of his neck.“I don’t want to tell you.”
His fingers drift along the bare skin of my lower back where my top’s ridden up.“Tell me.”
Still hiding, I whisper, “For most of my childhood, I thought something was wrong with me.Like I was defective, maybe.I didn’t feel much of anything.Just…detached.From people, from life.The only emotion I really understood was the love I had for my dad.That was it.
“Then one day, during an important meeting, they pulled up live footage of you.And suddenly, something shifted.Thudum…thudum…thudum.It was like my heart started beating for the first time.”
I pause, to feel the beat of his heart against me.“It happened on the fourth day of the week, the fourth day of the month, in the fourth month of the year.I never forgot.”
I lift my face from his neck and meet his eyes.“It doesn’t just mark the day I started tofeel,444 marks the day I found my reason.”
One brow lifts, his lips tugging into a crooked grin.“So…it’s aboutme?”
Feeling inexplicably shy, I give a one-shoulder shrug.“It’s always about you, Stefano.”
“Hmm.”He’s fully grinning now.“Yeah, I’m gonna need to hear more about your obsession with me.”Then his grin falters, brows drawing in.“Wait.What about that ‘first love’ story you told Gio?The whole thing about shutting off your heart after Pavlov killed him?”
