Page 214 of Ruin Me With Lies
“Hours,” I whisper.“We talked forhours,day after day, making all those big plans.And the whole time, you knew…you knew you’d already given me up.”
“Soraya, listen to me...”He eases back, his hands cradling my face, tilting it until our eyes lock.“I’mnotgiving you up.You’renotlast.And Iamin love with you.”His thumb sweeps away my pathetic tears.“Please don’t think I agreed to JB’s ultimatum because I’m afraid of challenging her.Come on, she’s been threatening me for years, and I’ve been pushing her limits for the hell of it.Nothing new there.
“I agreed to her terms because there’s deep dysfunction in your family.And I know I’m in no position to judge, but family means a lot to me, good or bad.If you know me as well as you say, then you must know that.”
Another dumb tear escapes down my cheek and he tenderly wipes it away with the pad of his thumb.“Soraya, I don’t want a dysfunctional relationship with you.I wantpeacewith you.I want laughter and love with you.I want to be your safe haven and you mine.I want us to build somethingreal.Our own healthy, wholesome family.
“But we won’t ever have that if we’re fighting battles with yours.Sothisis how I’m choosing to fight for us.Foryou.I’m choosing to give her this win.I’m choosing a year of misery without you in exchange for a lifetime of contentment with you.Can you please understand that?”
“What if…” My voice comes out so small and unsure that I have to clear my throat.“What if you change your mind about me during this separation?Can’t you see that’s what she wants?What if you decide I’m too much to—”
“Woman,tesoro, I’ve been waiting my whole life for you without even realizing it,” he cuts in, a smile in his voice.“Ijustfound you.Went from not knowing you existed to wondering how the fuck I ever breathed without you.Of courseit’s going to destroy me to stay away from you.But it won’t change a damn thing.You have no idea howcompletelyyou own me.You’re my lifetime, Soraya.Vita mia.”
If only I could believe that.But in my world, words are nothing but breath.Empty air.My childhood taught me that.My work reinforced it.Until they’re backed by action, words are meaningless.
A thought hits right then… “Your one week ends today.”
“Yes.”A beat of silence.“I leave tonight.”
I grip the edge of the counter.It feels like he just drove a log straight through my chest.“I, uh...”The walls start closing in.“I’m gonna, uh…I need some time to myself.”
As I start to leave, he catches my hand.“Soraya—”
“Let go.”
Our gazes lock for what feels like forever.His eyes are a storm of sincerity, apology, and unspoken promises.But anger snarls inside me, fierce and unforgiving.I’m too mad.Too mad at him for caving to her.Too mad at him for believing this was the only way.
For both our sakes, I need to get away from him.“Let go, Stefano.”
With a quiet sigh, he lets me go.
~
“GET UP!”Idrive a swift kick to my sparring partner’s gut.“Get up and fight me!”
He grunts and curls into a ball on the mat.Pathetic.
“Hawley, come drag his ass out of my ring.”I scan the row of men on the sidelines.“Lee, you’re up.”
Lee hesitantly steps into the ring.
In four moves, he’s on his back, groaning.
“For crying out loud!”My fists twitch with unspent fury.Raging desperation for a real fight roils under my skin.I want my ass handed to me.I want the thrill of blinding pain.I want someone to make me bleed.“I’m a hundred and thirty-seven damn pounds.All that money spent getting you all the best training, and notoneof you can last more than five minutes against me?How the hell did—”
“Because you’ve been trained in every combat discipline known to man.You’ve traveled the world for it, been trained by the best.You’re faster and smarter because you’vemasteredevery trick in the book.If you want an equal opponent, you know where to go, Soraya.Stop abusing your men.”
Dad…
I take in a deep, steadying breath before turning around.
There he stands, hands clasped behind his back.Tall, proud, radiating power and authority.Once upon a time, those broad shoulders carried me high above the world.He would sit me on top of them and call me his “crown of honor.”Promised his shoulders would always be there to hold me up until I didn’t need them anymore.
All I want to do is run to him and relax into one of his big bear hugs.He’s not just my father, he’s my best friend.
But over these last few months, a wall has grown between us.Built from repeated betrayals.Laid brick by brick in service of Mom, who’s been using her pregnancy and bedrest as emotional leverage to sway him.
See, Dad’s convinced himself he’s perfectly balanced between us, his loyalties evenly split.But the truth is, his loyalty belongs toher.Always has.Always will.Herhappiness is his highest priority, hisreason.And I let him believe in his illusion of “perfect balance,” because I love him too much to shatter it.
