Page 77 of Twice
I said it more sharply than intended. I thought about jumping back a few minutes, but this had become a recurrent issue; part of me wanted to hash it out.
“Is this going to be us now?” I continued. “We don’t go anywhere? We don’t do anything fun? We just sit around thinking about a baby?”
Gianna didn’t say anything. She looked hurt.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, “but, you know...”
“It’s OK,” she said, rising. “Let’s go. We can have fun. You’re right. It’s not against the rules.”
We met our friends a few hours later. Sam and Annie were our age, not married, still in that pawing-each-other-at-every-moment stage. They brought beers over as soon as we arrived and banged them on the table.
“Let’s celebrate the end of a crappy week,” Sam said. “I worked my butt off.”
“Thanks, but I can’t drink,” Gianna said.
“Oh, right, sorry,” Annie said.
“No, no, don’t be sorry, you all go ahead.”
“You sure?” I said.
“Yes. It’s fine.”
So I drank with our friends. It felt good to be out. The festival had loud, energetic bands, and Sam and Annie danced the samba. Gianna said she was too tired, so we remained at the table, silently watching our friends wiggle and laugh. Finally, I got up to explore the row of food booths. I returned with large plates of barbecued beef, fried cod, and cheese bread.
“Oh, yes! Thank you!” Sam said, plopping down, sweaty from the dance floor. “I’m starving.”
“Me too,” said Annie.
We began gobbling it up, but Gianna left her plate alone.
“Eat something,” I said.
“I’m not really hungry.”
I slumped. “Really? Are you just gonna sit?”
Sam and Annie glanced at each other. They could see I had embarrassed my wife.
“Itisdelicious,” Annie offered.
Gianna nodded reluctantly and lopped some beef on her bread. She tried the fish as well. We made small talk for another hour, and Sam and Annie ordered more beers. Eventually, we caught a cab and headed home.
“Admit it,” I said, sitting next to her. “It was good to get out, right?”
She sighed. “I guess so. I’m sorry I’m so dull lately, Alfie.”
“And I’m sorry if I’m impatient.”
She smiled. “Well. Youareimpatient.”
“But you...” I took her hand. “Are never dull.”
We kissed gently, which should have been the end of that episode.
It wasn’t.
In the middle of the night, Gianna began throwing up.
