Page 33 of Twice
“Alfie?”
“Uh-huh?”
“Have you told your father?”
“No.”
She leaned back. “Better that way.”
“I guess.”
We sat there in the hung silence that follows a confession. I suddenly felt so connected to my grandmother. I also realized I had just taken part in one of her time jumps, and had no idea what had happened the first go-around, except that she’d yelled at my father. So this was what it felt like for everyone I had affected that way. It felt like... nothing.
She tried to change the mood. She tapped my thigh.
“So. You got a girlfriend?”
“Not really... There’s this one girl.”
“Tell me.”
“Not much to tell.”
“You love her?”
“Come on, Yaya.”
“What?”
“We haven’t even gone out yet.”
“Well.” She straightened her dress in her lap. “Just be careful.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your power. It’s very tempting with love. You’ll think you can make everything perfect.” She grabbed my hand. “You can’t, OK? You understand?”
“Yes, Yaya.”
She released her grip. Her shoulders drooped.
“I’m tired, Alfie. I didn’t know you were coming. You should call next time, so I can drink some coffee before you get here.” She looked toward the door. “Call for the nurse. I want to get back into bed.”
“Wait, Yaya—”
There was so much more I wanted to know.
“Why do we only get to go back once?” I asked.
She scratched her head, then looked at her fingers.
“I really wish I had a cigarette.”
“Yaya, did you hear me? Why do we only get to go back once?”
She sighed, as if it were obvious.
“Alfie, if you keep getting second chances, you won’t learn a damn thing.”
