Page 45 of Twice
I could hear her better now.
“Yeah,” I said.
“It used to scare me,” she said.
“Not me. I loved it.”
“Really?”
“My mom used to take me outside and dance in it.”
She laughed. “No way!”
“She was like that.”
Her expression softened.
“Do you miss her?”
“She died a long time ago.”
“But do you miss her?”
I hesitated. “Yeah. I still do.”
Gianna smiled. “I met her once, you know.”
I was stunned. “When?”
“She came with you to see Lallu. She was really sweet. She let me use this walking stick she had. I kept trying to pole vault with it. And when you guys left, she said I could keep it. She even hugged me. I still have that stick somewhere, I think.”
I didn’t remember any of this. But hearing it made me feel closer to Gianna than ever. Which loosened me up for what I said next. She was so near, yet beyond my reach, which is kind of how I’d felt about her for a long time.
“Listen, Gianna. Can I tell you something? As long as we’re stuck here?”
“Sure.”
I took a breath.
“I think about you a lot. Actually, all the time. It’s weird. Being together as kids, even though we were so little, I feel like we’re connected.
“I’ve felt this way for a long time. Ever since I saw you at the Miami zoo. To be honest, I came to college because of you.”
Her eyes widened.
“I know that sounds creepy, right? I don’t mean it that way. I just—I just wanted to be where you were. I like beingaround you. I know I’ve acted stupid sometimes—a lot of times. It’s because... you make me nervous.”
“Why would I make you nervous?” she asked.
“Come on. It’s obvious, right?”
“What?”
I exhaled hard.
“That I like you. That I more than like you. I mean...” The words just spilled out. “That I love you. I really do. I know that sounds insane, we’re not even dating or anything. I’m sorry. But it’s how I feel.”
My mouth went dry and my heart pounded. Suddenly, I felt like a complete idiot.What are you doing? What were you thinking?
