Page 15 of Dark Roads
“Do you need a smoke?” She held out a rolled joint.
“No, thanks. Makes me cough.”
“God, some days it’s the only thing that gets me through.” She brushed her bangs off her forehead. “I keep a baggie in the ceiling of the storage room. One of the panels slides off.” She grinned. “I climbed up there one day and blew my smoke out the roof vent.” She laughed.
“Seriously?”
“I told Mason I had girl things to take care of.” She laughed again, and I liked that she was normal around me. I tried tolaugh too, but it sounded strained, like something I had forgotten how to do. She reached out and let her hand drift down my arm. It made me shiver.
“It must be hard living with Vaughn,” she said, and now I felt cold all over.
“Yeah. I want to get my own place.”
“That’s cool. Maybe we could be roommates.” She gave me a cheeky smile, a quirk of her lips. Flirty. I imagined being around her all the time. It was a stupid idea, impossible.
“I should get back to work.” She paused. “Why don’t you hang out? I’m almost done with my shift. We can go to the lake.”
Lana was expecting me home. Vaughn might look for me. It was risky.
“Yeah. Okay.”
After we went inside, Amber cleared a booth in the corner, and brought me a cup of coffee and a slice of lemon meringue pie. “On the house.” I texted Lana that I’d met with some friends. Did she mind if I went shopping? She texted back,OK!And I sent her a smiley face.
I scrolled through Craigslist on my phone. There weren’t many rooms for rent, and some sounded like they might be a closet with a hot plate. I’d still take that over living with Vaughn. Most of the jobs were in town or on the farms. Either way, I’d be biking a lot. I bookmarked anything that sounded promising. I’d send them my résumé, then figure out how to get there.
Amber and I sat on top of a picnic table at the end of the campground where the sand formed a narrow beach, out of sight from the dock. I could hear laughing, splashing as people jumped into the water, and I remembered the last time I was here with Jonny. The night Vaughn picked me up.
“You okay?” Amber’s voice pulled me back. I turned toanswer but was struck silent by the way the breeze whispered her hair across her cheeks, nose, and lips. We were wet from the lake, towels wrapped around our lower bodies, bikini tops showing. She’d lent me one in a flowery blue paisley pattern, strings on either side of the hip and around the neck. Hers was black with a bandeau top. I tried not to stare at the goose bumps scattered across her breasts.
“Yeah.”
She laughed. “You don’t say much, do you?”
My skin turned warm. I studied the pink flowers at the edge of the lake. “I like listening.”
“Those are wild roses,” she said, pointing to the bushes. I looked at her, and she smiled. “Guess you know that. You probably know every plant and tree.”
“Probably not.” I got off the picnic table and plucked a few of the rose heads, their petals silky. I offered them to her, and she smiled wide, showing her crooked incisor, and pulled one flower free, then tucked it behind my ear. The touch of her finger across my cheek made me shiver, and this time it was she who glanced at my chest, then away, her cheeks flushed. I sat beside her.
She buried her nose in her bouquet and lifted an eyebrow at me. I felt another tug in my belly. Was this how it was supposed to feel? Exciting and scary all at the same time? I wanted to be around her for hours. She made me dizzy. Her smell, the way she laughed, her confidence.
“Let’s take a selfie.” She wiggled closer so that our thighs touched and held up her phone. I liked seeing our faces together, hair blending, eyes lit with sun. She took a few photos. We made funny faces. “I’ll text you copies,” she said, and I gave her my number. The photos whisked through and hit my phone with a ping. I smiled at them, scrolled through.
“Most of my selfies are with Jonny. You’re a lot prettier.”
She laughed, but her voice was serious when she said, “Did you and Jonny ever date?”
I shook my head. “It’s not like that with us. I’ve dated guys, but I don’t know. I never connected with any of them. Guess I’ve been waiting for someone special.” Our eyes met. “What about you?”
“I’ve liked boys and girls.” She shrugged. “I just feel things and I go for it.” This time it was a warning tug in my stomach. Maybe she could feel something for someone else tomorrow, or another day. Maybe this moment at the lake didn’t mean all that much to her.
“That’s cool.”
She held my hand. “I feel somethinggoodwhen I’m with you.” She rubbed a circle on my palm with her thumb. “It’s like, I’m sad for you because of your dad…” My hand stiffened. She smoothed the tight muscles and met my eyes. “But I’m happy, because I’m with you.”
I curled my fingers and touched the delicate gold bracelet on her wrist, felt the soft flutter of her pulse. She only had a single charm on the link. A small green turtle. “It’s pretty.”
“It’s from Hawaii. I went there with my family.”
