Page 64 of Dark Roads
“I don’t usually hand out a list of girls I’ve slept with. But now that I know you’re investigating me, I’ll make sure to keep you in the loop, okay?” His tone was sarcastic, but there was hurt in his eyes, and in the way his chin lifted. Then anger flared in the blue depths. Her relief had shown on her face and made her initial doubt that much worse.
“I don’t think you’re the killer.”
“Am I supposed to feel good about that?”
“I’m sorry, okay? Vaughn just has this way of messing with my head.”
“You’re kind of good at that yourself.”
She flinched. He had a point, which stung. “That morning at the campsite, I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was just using you for a fun distraction. Ilikeyou, but I panicked.”
“No big deal. You’re leaving at the end of the summer anyway, right? I don’t want to get involved with someone else I’m going to lose.”
Someone he was going to lose. She heard the truth in the steeled edge of his voice. He liked her, and it scared him. She wished she were braver, wished she could tell him that he was the first guy she’d ever stayed the entire night with—she always left after, had treated sex like a trip to the doctor. A necessary requirement for occasional physical relief of tension and stress.
“I just… I don’t know what I want.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I got that.” He sighed and swung himself back up into the truck, lifted a tool out of a metal box, and began wrenching something on the bike wheel.
“Is it true that sponsors want you to race for them?” He flicked a glance at her but kept working. She had probably earned that, should leave well enough alone. Still, she had to ask.
“Are you staying in Cold Creek because of Hailey?”
He stood up, spinning the wrench in his hand as he watched her for a moment.
“You want to go for a ride?”
They rode up the mountain together in his truck, traveling logging roads that looked as though they’d been washed out by decades of winter rivers, with long gouges cutting across them, potholes so deep Beth heard the bumper scrape. Jonny’sexpression was calm, his hands relaxed on the steering wheel, tapping out a beat along with the radio.
She took sips of the beer he’d given her and wondered why she was so attracted to him. Was it the mystery? Or the thrill of doing something out of her comfort zone? No, it was more than that. There was a goodness about him that she wanted to drink in. The kind of guy who would run into a burning building for you, or dive underwater. Who stayed loyal to his friend, even though she was never coming back. Beth rubbed her hands down her legs, smoothing out goose bumps.
“You scared?”
“Maybe a little.”
“Nothing to worry about. You’re with me.” He gave her one of his sideways smiles that plucked at her stomach muscles. The truck slowed and he pulled into a clearing.
He handed her an extra helmet—a smaller one. She didn’t ask who it belonged to, not even when his hands grazed the skin on her neck as he checked that she had it on tight.
When he rolled the dirt bike down the ramp from his truck and motioned for her to climb on behind him, she hesitated. Jonny’s eyes met hers through the visor on his helmet with a teasing glint. No way was she going to be the girl who chickened out. She slid her leg over the seat, rested her thighs on either side of his hips, and wrapped her arms around his hard stomach.
He put the bike in gear and rode down the center of the road. He was fast, so fast she felt the wind steal the breath out of her throat and her heart press back against her ribs, but she wasn’t scared anymore. His body was warm, his shoulder blades flexing. He tapped her leg, showing her how to shift her weight when he turned. She squeezed her thighs tight when the bike skidded around a curve in the road. He gave it more gas and they surged forward. The bike straightened.
Over his shoulder he yelled, “When in doubt, throttle it out.”
“What does that mean?” she yelled back.
“Sometimes when you’re losing it, you just have to power up and go with it.”
She pressed her cheek to his back and closed her eyes, let the roar of the engine and the speed wipe everything away. It was a rush, the spike of fear, the thrum through her body.
They rode for an hour, until she stopped gripping him so hard and started admiring the view. The woods were cooler than in town, and the sides of the logging roads were covered in dusty ferns, bushes, and wild huckleberries. The sun was dappled through the trees on the road in front of them, opening to the occasional logged area with fallen timber, stumps bleached white.
They circled back to his truck. He parked the bike and she climbed off, wobbling on her legs with a laugh. She pulled off the helmet, ran her hands through her messy hair, feeling shy as he watched her. She didn’t want the day to end but didn’t know how to keep it going.
“We should have brought something to eat. I’m starving…”
“We can get your car, then I’ll make you dinner at my place,” he said. “What do you think?”
